


Smudge of Flour

by TheBlackMagister



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Blow Jobs, Bottom Rick, Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Rating May Change, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), Sweet Rick Grimes, Tags May Change, Top Negan (Walking Dead), just a warning to preface this whole thign, this entire fic is basically 'oh my god rick is so fuckign cute what do i do with my hands'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-30 19:02:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11469744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackMagister/pseuds/TheBlackMagister
Summary: In order to keep Negan from becoming a total hermit after Lucille's death, Simon takes him to a coffee shop, where he meets a pretty blue-eyed barista that just might change his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> .........anyway  
>  also, just a sidenote: this fic, and the others, may be slow to update, because my computer is getting repairs so i'm using somebody else's laptop

“Seriously, Simon, where the fuck are we going.”

Simon tsks in good-natured irritation and gives Negan’s back a little shove. Negan bites back a sigh and resists the urge to pull off the blindfold. If he didn’t have such blind faith in the man behind him he would have already. He hates not being able to fucking see where he’s going, especially in a city he doesn’t know yet.

He and a couple of friends have only _just_ moved to King County, Georgia, some little nowhere town with about 2.5 residents. He’s still getting used to the change of scenery; the heat and humidity is more intense than his home of Virginia. But Simon and Dwight had both decided, without him, that after Lucille’s death he’d been closing himself off more and more, and they had taken matters into their own hands. So now they’re in Assville, Nowhere, and Negan's not impressed so far.

“You’ll see where we’re going when we get there,” Simon chides, hand firm in the small of Negan’s back, “We’re almost there, anyway. Chill out.”

“I hate you.” Negan mumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I can’t fucking believe I let you talk me into-”

“We’re here!” Simon cuts him off before he can go off on a rant again, grabbing the back of his leather jacket and preventing him from walking on down the street. “Come on.”

“Come where? I can’t fucking see, Simon.”

“Jesus, fine, you big baby.” Simon unties the blindfold, pulling the fabric away, and Negan groans at the bright sunlight, rubbing at his eyes. “Happy now?”

“A coffee shop?” Negan disregards Simon’s words, staring in disbelief up at the little corner coffee house. “Seriously? Why are we even here?”

“You love coffee, dude.” Simon shrugs, half-dragging him forward. He scowls a little, more out of reluctance than anything.

“I like _my_ coffee.” He mutters, mostly to himself. “Whatever.”

“Stop complaining.” Simon gives him _a look_ , one of the ones when he’s being overly stubborn. He can’t help it. It’s just his personality. “Besides,” Simon elbows him lightly, “It’s not _just_ a coffee shop.”

“A bakery.” Negan says, a little amused, as he examines the interior. It’s warm and homey in its yellow-orange light, full of squashy armchairs and private booths, and there aren’t even too many people. Negan hates to admit it, but he kind of likes it already.

“It’s a good first step.” Simon gives him a shrug. “Maybe you can, you know, actually socialize?”

“Socialize?” Negan mocks, eyebrows raising. “Me? Have you ever fucking met me?”

“Shut up and get a damn coffee.” Simon shoves his back a little and he frowns at his friend as Simon weaves off through the shop to a private booth near the window. God damn it.

He takes a few moments to look over the options and decide what he wants. He hates going to new places, looking like a damn fool – but he has to admit, however grudgingly, the lack of people is a good thing. Besides. The (apparently hand-made) muffins look like heaven. He fishes his wallet out of his pocket as he approaches the counter. He knows there aren’t many people here, but even the barista’s decided to cop out? Damn.

Just as the thought crosses his mind somebody backs out of the back room with a tray of still-smoking.. somethings. Cookies, Negan thinks. They smell delicious and his stomach growls.

“Sorry about that,” The (presumed) barista says in that typical Southern drawl as he sets up the display, “The oven was goin’ off. Now what can I do for you?”

He turns to Negan and for a moment Negan is fucking _lovestruck_ with how gorgeous this man is, all blue eyes and dark curls and, and, oh, _damn_ , Negan’s fucked.

“Um.” Negan says, real intelligently, and he clears his throat, cheeks warm. “Yeah. Just a large coffee, couple shots of cream.”

“Sure.” The guy – Rick Grimes, so says his nametag – flashes him a little smile, complete with eye crinkles, and Negan notes the smudge of flour on the tip of Rick’s nose. His heart does some sort of flop and he shifts.

“You’ve got a, um..” He’s saying before he tells his mouth to speak, and he touches where the spot of flour is on his own nose. Rick wipes it away with two fingers and then laughs, a charming little sound, and Negan immediately decides he wants to hear it again.

“Oops. Dangers of working in a bakery, I s’pose. It’ll be $4.76, by the way.”

Negan pulls out one of the fives in his wallet and slides it across, enamored by the younger man in front of him as Rick goes about giving him change and pouring his coffee. He’s never been so infatuated so quickly – and that’s _all_ this is. A brief infatuation. He knows that well enough. He hasn’t actually fallen for somebody since Lucille, and this is no different. Rick is just.. attractive, that’s all.

“Here you go.” Rick says warmly, offering a friendly smile and handing over the coffee. Some half-assed line like ‘this coffee is only half as hot as you are’ crosses Negan’s mind, but he just grins like a fucking idiot and only half-thinkingly heads over to where Simon’s waiting.

“Oh, man.” Simon remarks, eyebrows raising, as he settles into the seat. “I haven’t seen you that flustered in a long time.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Negan mumbles, sipping from the coffee. It’s fucking delicious and if it wouldn’t be too inappropriate Negan might have moaned.

“You got it bad for the barista already, don’t you?” Simon teases, brown eyes alight with laughter. “Shit, Negan. You’re so fuckin’ red, dude.”

“I don’t have anything!” Negan protests, but Simon’s right: he’s blushing like a fool just at the thought of the pretty blue-eyed cashier. Actually – the nametag might have said “owner”. Negan only looked at it for a few moments, too preoccupied with Rick’s face.

“Yeah, you do.” Simon waggles his eyebrows, smacking Negan’s forearm. “You didn’t even _swear_ at him, Negan!”

“And?” Negan says defensively, frowning at Simon – who probably knows him better than he knows himself. “I don’t just.. swear at everybody..”

Simon gives him an incredulous look and then leans to glance at Rick, who’s speaking to another customer – a young blonde woman, who had obviously dragged her boyfriend to the shop about as much as Simon had dragged Negan here. Negan twists to look at him, too, and feels his cheeks warm again.

“Come on,” Simon chuckles. “Just admit you like the guy.”

“I mean.. he’s.. he’s attractive.” Negan takes another sip of the coffee to hide his embarrassment. “But that doesn’t mean I _like_ him like that. Maybe I wanna bend him over the counter and fuck the living hell out of him, but I don’t.. you know.. _like_ him.”

“Uh-huh.” Simon just shakes his head and laughs. “Sure, whatever.”

“Mhm.” Negan mumbles into his coffee. After a few moments Simon claps him on the shoulder and stands. “Where are you going?”

“Dwight needs me.” Simon sighs, rolls his eyes. “Fucker. I’ll see you at home.”

“Yeah.” Negan glances down into his coffee cup. “Yeah, see you later.”

Simon gives him a knowing grin and he shakes his head, frowning. Negan continues sipping on his coffee, watching the shop’s traffic for a while.. and maybe Rick, too. Unfortunately, he’s not much for social outings, and even though Rick’s cute and the coffee is good Negan doesn’t see himself coming back.

Still, even after he’s finished his coffee and left, Negan can’t get the pretty blue-eyed barista out of his head.


	2. Chapter 2

Negan finds himself returning to the coffee shop the next day after work. Rick’s wiping down the tables, but he looks up at the tinkle of the little bell on the door when Negan walks in.

“Back again so soon?” Rick says, tone friendly. Negan grins sheepishly.

“The coffee’s good. Much better than the chain shit.”

 _There,_ Negan thinks to himself as Rick rolls his eyes appreciatively. _I swore with him. I don’t like him like that_.

“Second time in a row I’ve been busy with something when you come in.” Rick remarks, finishing with the table and taking the rag and cleaner behind the counter. “What can I get you today?”

“Third time’s the charm.” Negan approaches the counter, pulling out his wallet. “Yeah, large coffee, couple shots of cream. Oh, and lemme get one of those chocolate chip cookies, they look fuckin’ delicious.”

Rick grins. “Sure thing. $6.19.”

Negan hands him a ten, unable to stop fucking _looking_ at Rick. He leans on one hand, taking in every aspect of Rick’s pretty face, the blue eyes, and eyelashes, and the dark curls clinging to Rick’s neck – although there’s one little lock hanging down over Rick’s forehead – the greying scruff, the plump pink lips. Oh, man, Rick’s gorgeous, and Negan’s so fucking infatuated. He’s still certain, though: he _doesn’t_ like Rick that intensely. It’s purely sexual.

“Here you go.” Rick sets the coffee on the counter and hands him the carefully wrapped chocolate chip cookie. “They just got put out, so be careful, they’re hot.”

This time Negan can’t help the “But not as hot as you.” that slips out, and he watches in mixed horror at the fact he just said that, and pleasure at the slow flush creeping into Rick’s cheeks. Damn. That’s the face of a man who doesn’t get flirted with enough. Negan doesn’t know _how_ – with how fucking _gorgeous_ Rick is, he’d figured the guy would have all kinds of people barking up his tree.

“Sorry, that was stupid, wasn’t it?” He chuckles, shaking his head, and Rick gives him a shy little grin.

“Yeah, maybe a little. That was.. almost original, though.”

“Heh, sorry.” Negan rubs the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly. “I have no idea why I said that.”

“No, it’s.. fine.” Rick’s still delightfully pink, especially at the tips of his ears. “Not sure that’s the way to go, though..”

He gestures at the coffee shop and Negan chuckles. That’s fair. Maybe too much coffee.

“Sure. I’ll find some other puns to win your heart.” Negan lifts his coffee cup in a ‘cheers’ gesture, and Rick rolls his eyes.

“Good luck with that.” Still, Rick offers a soft smile and then turns away into the back room. Negan’s still grinning like a fucking fool as he heads over to the private booth he’d occupied the day previous. Rick hadn’t immediately shot him down: he still has a chance to get laid.

 _But is that all you want_? the little voice in his ears says, and he shifts, suddenly uncomfortable, in his seat. Rick’s attractive, and yeah, maybe he _could_ match Negan’s wit – maybe – but Negan sees no reason why that means he has a burning flaming crush on the man.

Except he does. He really, really fucking does. Rick’s cute, and sweet as the cookies he sells, and Negan can’t stop thinking about the dusting of flour on his nose and the almost giggly laugh that had followed. God, Rick’s lips look fucking soft, too, and Negan can only imagine what it would be like to kiss him, or better yet have that pretty pink mouth wrapped around his-

“Mind if I sit with you?” Rick’s voice startles him out of his thoughts, and he glances up and forces an easy grin.

“Go ahead. Didn’t even give me time to come up with anything. Am I that irresistible?” He teases, and Rick snorts.

“You wish. It’s slow and you’re the most interesting conversation that’s walked in all day.”

“Am I?” Negan raises on eyebrow and grins a little, taking a sip of his coffee. “We’ve only just met, Rick! How can you tell?”

“Well, you’ve come in two days in a row, and you just used an extremely cliché pick up line on me – who’s talkin’?”

“Sure, fine, you got me.” Negan laughs, shaking his head. “What can I say. I thought the cookie was sweet, but I’d like a little of _your_ sugar, sugar.” He follows the absolutely terrible line with an exaggerated wink, and Rick groans good-naturedly, burying his face in his hands.

“I think I changed my mind,” Rick mumbles into his palms, “I don’t wanna talk to you anymore.”

Still, he flashes another radiant grin Negan’s way, and fuck if Negan doesn’t fucking blush like an idiot. Damn it. Day two of meeting and Rick’s already got him wrapped.

“Like I said, I didn’t have time to come up with anything good.” Negan sits back and shrugs. “You gotta give me a day or two, Rick. I’m kinda out of the game.”

“Well, gold star for participation.” Rick stretches his arms above his head, standing as the same couple from the day previous duck inside from the heat. “You keep thinkin’. Maybe you’ll find somethin’ to use.”

“You can bet on it.”

Rick walks away, and mentally Negan traces the outline of his ass, his thighs. God _damn_ , Rick Grimes is hot. Slowly Negan takes sips of his coffee, munching idly on the cookie – which, hot fuck, is fucking delicious – and keeps casting glances at Rick and the couple.

* * *

“Who’s the guy, Rick?”

Rick rolls his eyes, feeling a blush creeping up his neck. “Nobody. Just another customer. This is only the second time I’ve met him.”

“Nobody?” Beth gives him an incredulous look, folding her arms. “Rick. You’re going all pink. I don’t think you think he’s nobody.”

“I just – don’t know him that well, is all!” Rick huffs, pretending he’s not fucking blushing. “Besides. I’m not.. y’know.. into guys.”

“I think you’re going to have to make an exception for this one, Rick.” Beth grins at his quickly reddening cheeks.

“Back me up here, Daryl.” Rick complains; Daryl just shakes his head, holding his hands up.

“No way, man. Besides I think you oughta trust Beth on this one. She’s the romance expert around here.”

“See?” Beth’s expression is smug and she sticks her tongue out at Rick. “You should at least give it a try, you know. You might actually like him.”

“I should kick you guys out,” Rick mumbles, hiding his face in his hands. “For assaulting me.”

“With the truth?” Beth whacks his arm. “Don’t miss this opportunity, Rick! You obviously like him. Don’t let sexuality get in the way.”

Rick frowns at her, rubbing his hand over his beard subconsciously. “I don’t know, Beth..”

“You don’t have to know. Just do it.” Beth smiles at him as he hands over the coffee he’s just made. “I don’t know if you noticed, but he keeps lookin’ at you. Give him a chance.”

Rick sighs, runs his hand down his face. “Fine,” He mumbles, “Fine. I’ll.. see.”

“Trust me, Rick. And even if it doesn’t work out, you could at least give happiness a shot.”

“I’m already happy, though..” Rick protests, frowning a little, but Beth just gives him a little smile and grabs Daryl around the arm. Rick catches the softness on Daryl’s face when he looks at Beth, and he _misses_ having a relationship like that. He glances over at his patron, who’s obviously been looking at him, because the other’s hazel gaze snaps back to the phone on the table. Rick’s cheeks warm again and he bites the inside of his mouth absently. Shit. Maybe Beth’s right; he should give the guy a chance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry short

Unfortunately, Negan can’t find time to go back to the shop for about a week. Lesson plans and looking over his kids’ pretests keep him from being able to do little things like go out to dinner, even, and it fucking sucks. So when he finally makes his way back to the little coffee house Rick actually looks a little surprised to see him – and maybe a little pleased, too, although that could be the narcissism talking.

“Finally back, huh? Just couldn’t stay away?” Rick says as he approaches the counter, and he grins a little.

“No can-do. Guess there’s just somethin’ about seein’ your pretty face every time that keeps me comin’ back.”

“Oh, hush.” Rick’s still smiling, though, a happy flush tinging the tips of his ears. God, that’s.. really endearing. “If it took you a week to come up with that..”

“Nah, you’ll know when I’m _really_ flirting.” Negan waggles his eyebrows. “Why? You already interested?”

“You wish. You actually gonna order something, or are you gonna stand there and try out pick-up lines?”

“Mm, yeah. Large coffee, couple shots of cream. How many times do I have to come here to have a ‘usual order’?”

“You know, I’d risk sayin’ you’ve already got one. Anything else with that?”

“Yeah, another one of those cookies. Shit’s good.” Negan catches his tongue between his teeth absently as Rick turns away to grab the cookie and start the coffee maker. Negan’s falling deeper and deeper into the damn rabbit hole every time he looks at Rick.

“$6.19.” Rick trades him the food for money, and he flashes a grin.

“Thanks, sugar.”

Rick just flushes and gives his arm a smack, and he laughs, strolling off to his usual booth. (Can he call it his usual spot?) God, he’s tired. Fucking kids.

Still, there’s something about the coffee shop that makes him feel better. It’s warm and close and he can relax and enjoy the coffee – and some solitude. He can just _chill_. And then there’s Rick. Negan’s found Rick isn’t as draining as lots of other people he’s interacted with. Rick’s not loud or over-energetic, he’s just.. normal. It’s nice. Rick’s nice. And dear God, Negan realizes right then and there this.. whatever it is.. is much more than just infatuation. Maybe. He still thinks he just needs to get Rick in bed, and it’ll be over. He can stop thinking about the guy all the damn time. He has to admit he’s been thinking about Rick a lot, and he doesn’t even know why.

A hand on his shoulder startles him out of his reverie. He twists and looks at Rick, who looks almost concerned.

“You alright?” Rick asks, in that pretty Southern drawl. Negan frowns.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You’ve, uh, been staring into space for about twenty minutes now.” Rick settles in the seat across from him, glancing out across the café for a moment. It’s a little busier than usual today, which isn’t saying much.

“Have I?” Negan grins sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “Whoops. Guess I need this coffee more than I thought.”

“Mm. Apparently so. You look exhausted, you know.” Rick raises one eyebrow. “Maybe I should get you another on the house.”

“No, no, I’m..” Negan runs a hand over his face. Jeez. He needs to shave soon. “It’s been a long week. High school freshmen are literally little demons.”

“Oh, right.. school just started.” And then Rick frowns a little. “You’re a teacher?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, Rick.” Negan chuckles, finally taking a sip of his coffee; even cold, it’s better than the chain shit. “I know, I know, how does this asshole become a teacher, right? Believe it or not the kids seem to like me.”

“I’d believe it.” Rick grins, even moreso when Negan flushes as he grasps what Rick’s saying. “So what do you teach? You strike me as being a history teacher.”

“History, huh?” Negan shakes his head with a sly smirk. “Nah. Gym-Health. I get to whip the little fucks into shape and make sure they’re havin’ safe sex.”

“It’s only the first week, though.” Rick muses, head tilting. “How bad can they be?”

“You have _no_ idea.” Negan sighs, rubbing at his eyes. “Devils, all of them.”

“Mm. I’m glad Carl isn’t there yet.” Rick chuckles. “Next year, though..”

“You have kids?” Negan frowns with interest, although his heart sinks at the words. Maybe Rick’s not as available as he thought.

“Yeah. Carl – he’s 13 – and my, um, my daughter, Judith.” Rick suddenly looks uncomfortable, and Negan shifts, taking a bite out of the cookie to keep his mouth occupied so he doesn’t say something stupid. Still, he can’t stop himself from speaking.

“So, um.. is.. there a wife in the picture?” Negan doesn’t want to think Rick’s being tempted to cheat, especially doesn’t want to make Rick unhappy. Although it’s not like he has room to talk; after what he did to Lucille.. “I don’t want to, uh.. encroach.”

“No. No, no wife.” Rick sighs, running a hand through his pretty curls. “Not.. anymore, I mean. There were.. complications. With Judith.”

“Oh.” Negan tries not to be relieved and shifts again. “I’m sorry.”

“It was three years ago.” Rick shakes his head. “I’ve had time to.. adjust. So, uh, what about you?”

“No, I’m by myself.” Negan smiles wryly. “No kids, and my wife passed a couple years ago.”

“So you get your fill of lookin’ after children at school, huh?” Rick teases, but his eyes are soft. Negan chuckles.

“Yeah, I suppose so. Never really wanted any of my own, though.. I can barely deal with the fuckers I’m lookin’ after.” Negan finishes off the cup of coffee and sighs. “Anyways, Rick. It’s not that I don’t love gettin’ to spend time with you, but I have a lot to work out for these kids. I won’t wait so long to come back this time, though.” He offers Rick a smile and stands, stretching his arms above his head. Rick follows suit, standing as well.

“Sure. Listen – now that we’ve gotten over the barriers of.. being single.. maybe I could actually have your name?” Rick grins slyly and Negan flushes a little.

“Oh, shit. Yeah. Negan.”

“Just Negan?” Rick presses, and Negan grins.

“Yeah. Just Negan.” He catches his tongue between his teeth again, and Rick laughs. There it is: the fucking laugh that makes Negan’s heart pound.

“Okay, then, _Just Negan_.” Rick teases, blue eyes sparkling with laughter. “You have to come back now.” And Negan can’t see why he would ever say no.


	4. Chapter 4

Negan makes a few more stops by the coffee shop before he finally works up the balls to ask Rick out for drinks. It’s kind of a spur of the moment thing, encouraged by Simon, who – while not having gone with him – had urged him to follow his heart. He’d started off with a couple of dumb pick-up lines, still coffee related because _how could he miss the opportunity_ , and then finally had just bit the bullet and asked Rick out. Rick had stared at him uncertainly, as though gauging his sincerity, and then had flushed bright pink right to the roots of his hair. Still, Rick had agreed all shy and shit, and Negan had left feeling warm – and with Rick’s number.

They agree to meet at one of the bars downtown Saturday night at eight. Negan has to admit: he’s fucking nervous. This is the first date he’s been on in ages, and he really wants to make a good impression. Of course, assuming _Rick_ thought this as a date, and, shit, what if he hadn’t been clear enough and Rick just thought they were friends? And anyway, he's pretty sure he already fucked up a good first impression, but outside of a customer Rick doesn't know him.

And then Rick walks in, and every single thought is erased from his mind except _wow_. Rick looks fucking stunning without even trying, even in just a rolled-up long-sleeve blue shirt and dark jeans that cling absolutely _wonderfully_ to his hips. It’s all Negan can do to stop himself from propositioning Rick right then and there.

“Hey.” Rick says, with that pretty little grin, once he’s woven his way through the crowd over to him. He returns the expression, trying not to let his gaze wander too much.

“Hey yourself.” Try as he might, the greeting comes out way more sexual than he’d intended, but Rick just flushes and gives him a little shove. “You look amazing.”

“Probably ‘cause all you’ve ever seen me in is the work uniform.” Rick chides. “Besides. Not so bad yourself.”

Negan glances down, a little embarrassed. He’s opted for all black – black jeans, black t-shirt, and his usual leather jacket. “Ehh..” He rubs the back of his neck, looking back at Rick. “I’m just.. more comfy in black.”

“Well, you look good.” Rick nudges him gently, blue eyes sparkling with teasing. Negan flushes a little, rolling his eyes.

“Sure.” He mumbles, still absently rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyway. Did you drive?”

“Nah. I caught a taxi. We’re drinking, right?” Rick flashes another one of those gleaming white smiles. “Can’t drink and drive.”

“What are you, a cop?” Negan says jokingly, following Rick over to the bar, and Rick glances at him, eyebrows raising.

“I was.”

“No shit?” Negan says with interest, taking up in one of the seats next to Rick. “You, a cop? Damn – you still got the handcuffs, officer?”

“Stop it.” But Rick’s laughing, shaking his head at Negan’s half flirting. Negan grins.

“You love it. You agreed to come out with me, sugar.”

“I guess that’s true.” Rick smirks a little. “You gotta buy me a drink first, though.”

“Oh? Well in that case.. let me buy you a drink, and _then_ you can show me your handcuffs.” Negan waggles his eyebrows, earning a good-natured groan from Rick. “Do we have a deal?”

“We’ll see.” Rick says, although Negan’s already calling over the bartender. “Better impress me with this drink, Negan.”

They talk more than they drink, though, not that they mind all that much. Rick’s interesting, and more than that Rick seems to find _Negan_ interesting. Negan will be the first to admit he’s a talkative guy, but he doesn’t think he’s shared so much of his personal life with anybody since Lucille. It kind of.. comes pouring out of him, actually, everything from before Lucille – and after. And it feels fucking good. Negan hadn’t realized how much weight he was holding until he’d started talking about it.

“So, anyway,” is how he wraps up a five minute long spiel about the cheating on Lucille and the ensuing two and a half years of guilt, “Now that I’ve talked about me for an hour-”

“Let’s go for a walk.” Rick says abruptly, before he can finish, and he notices the discomfort suddenly exuding from the slighter man. Still, he says nothing except to agree, and he leaves the bill on the counter. Rick heads on without him, and by the time he’s out Rick’s already walking down the street. Shit. Shit shit shit. He jogs to catch up with Rick, dread settling low in the pit of his belly.

“Rick, wait.” He pants. “Wait, please. Did I say something?”

“No. I mean – I..” Rick takes a deep breath, stopping so suddenly Negan just about runs into him. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Negan looks desperate, eyebrows knitted together, gently touching Rick’s wrists – not gripping, just touching, as if Rick isn’t even real. He knows he’s fucked up by saying _something_ , but he doesn’t know what. “Rick, what’s wrong?”

“It’s just. Cheating is a – a sensitive topic. For me. My, um. My wife. Just..” Rick's gaze slides to the sidewalk and he takes a deep breath. A pang of something indescribable jumps into Negan's chest.

“Rick, I.. You gotta know I’m sorry, Rick.” Negan’s fingers trace down to his hands, and Negan's almost relieved when he lets their hands slide together. “I.. I was in a bad place and I’m _sorry_. I’m not usually.. like that. I’m not.”

Rick gives him a long look and then says, real soft, “Walk me home, Negan.” Negan agrees at once - how could he not?

They’re quiet for a little while, walking side by side. Rick still seems tense – maybe not as tense as when they’d left the bar, but still uncomfortable. After a few minutes of walking Negan sighs.

“Rick,” He says, and his voice is soft. “Please talk to me. What happened?”

Rick fidgets, refusing to look at Negan for a few more moments. He lets out an exhale. It’s obvious to Negan he doesn’t want to talk about it, but before Negan can say anything he speaks.

“I got shot,” Rick says, his hands in his pockets. “On duty. It was bad, real bad, and I was in a coma for a few weeks. And my wife.. I don’t know. I never confronted her and she never said anythin’, but.. well, Judith’s blonde, if that tells you anything. I don't know if she knew I knew, or what, but I..” He trails off, blue eyes sad.

Negan doesn’t say anything, at first. He can feel the intensity coming off of Rick in waves: Rick doesn’t _want_ him to say anything. But he can’t just say nothing; it’s not in his nature, and besides, he feels like he needs to explain himself.

“I can’t speak for her.” He says finally. “But Rick.. I.. I feel so fucking shitty for what I did. It makes me want to fucking vomit when I think about it. I didn’t tell you to turn you away from me, Rick, but if you don’t.. like me.. anymore.. then that’s that. I told you ‘cause you deserved to know. I’m of the opinion you should know everything you’re gettin’ into with a potential partner, you know?”

Rick exhales shakily and finally, _finally_ , looks over at Negan. “Yeah. I just.. need some time to think, y’know. At least you told me before we.. got into anything.”

“Where’d you get shot?” Negan prompts after another minute or so of silence. Rick snorts.

“My shoulder.” He rests one hand over where the scar is and sighs. “Lots of blood, apparently. I don’t remember much, just pain and then wakin’ up in the hospital. Nothin’ like it.”

“I can’t imagine.” Negan murmurs. Rick turns up a driveway, then, and Negan follows him up to the porch. Rick unlocks the door and then hesitantly turns to Negan.

“Are.. you gonna be okay getting back to your car?”

“Car?” Negan snorts. “You didn’t drive – I didn’t either. I’ll catch a taxi, it’s okay.”

“Right.” Rick says, swallowing, shifting a little.

“So, Rick, uh..” Negan clears his throat uncomfortably. He has to ask. “Am I.. still allowed to come see you at the coffee shop?”

Rick gives him a hesitant little smile. “Yeah. You can come back.” Almost as if on impulse, Rick stretches up and kisses Negan’s cheek, and then he’s gone into the house, and Negan’s left blushing in the dark on the porch.


	5. Chapter 5

“So how did it go?”

Negan looks up as Simon drops a stack of papers on his desk three days later, black thick-rimmed glasses slipping down his nose a little. He frowns, pushing them back up.

“How did what go?”

Simon sighs, as if he’s stupid. “Your _date_ ,” He pops the ‘t’, “with Rick?”

“Oh. That.” Negan shifts uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. “It.. went.”

“Not well?” Simon frowns sympathetically, taking up the seat in front of his desk. He scowls a little at the insinuation.

“That’s not it.” He exhales, shaking his head. “I.. told him the truth. About what I did to Lucille. He didn’t completely throw me out or anything, so I’m just.. giving him some time to.. think about it.” Simon’s still frowning at him, though, and after a moment he adds in a mutter, “What?”

“You’re going back to the shop later, aren’t you?”

Negan’s scowl only deepens and he folds his arms, dropping his pen on his desk. “What?”

“You’re going back today. To see him. Aren’t you? I know that look on your face.”

“I don’t know about today..” Negan sighs, rubbing his temples. “I can’t just leave it, though, Simon. He had a hard time but he didn’t tell me to fuck off, you know?”

“Well, dude. Do you think he’s ready to see you?”

“I don’t.. know.” Negan sighs again, leaning on his elbows on the desk. “That’s just it. I don’t wanna push it.”

“You should probably give it a couple of days.” Simon stretches, standing back up. “See if you can catch him around town or somethin’.”

“Yeah.” Negan sighs, and then glances skeptically at Simon. “How the hell’d you get in here anyway?”

* * *

It's not until after he finally gets out from doing dumb paperwork that he remembers he’s got Rick’s number, at which point he spends about five minutes debating whether or not to _actually_ text Rick. On one hand: it’s a way of communicating without being overly pushy, he doesn’t want to just show up and force Rick to see him. On the other.. Rick had made it pretty clear he didn’t want to see Negan at the moment. God. Dating is much more complicated than he remembers.

Eventually he just sends a ‘hey’. Short, quick, easy to ignore. He kind of expects Rick to ignore it, actually, maybe because work or just plain not wanting to talk to him. So - when Rick sends him a _hey_ back, his heart absolutely jumps right up into his throat.

After clarifying that it’s alright for him to come get a coffee, he does a little skip and heads on his way. He has to admit: he’s pleased as punch Rick’s okay to see him, considering it had only been a handful of nights ago Rick had requested time to himself. He just hopes it’s not because Rick wants to shoot him down in person.

When he gets there he spends a minute and a half working up to go inside. Christ, he has no idea why he’s so fucking nervous, he _never_ gets nervous. Besides, he’s only known the guy a couple of weeks, not even that many days, and they’d only gone out once. He’s been rejected after more. But fuck, something about Rick just has him so.. so.. fuck. He can’t even think of the right word. _Wrapped_.

Finally he enters the shop, although the tinkle of the bell this time feels like a death sentence. There’s the usual blonde girl and her boyfriend, sharing a coffee – Negan wants to cringe, if it weren’t so damn cute – along with two other couples he’s never seen before. Oh, jeez. He doesn't want this place to become a couples’ cafe. Although.. Rick..

“Hey.” He says, keeping his voice soft, when he approaches the counter. Rick gives him the briefest of looks and exhales.

“Hey. Give me one second, I want to talk to you.”

Negan’s so taken aback all he can say is “okay.” Rick finishes filling a cup of coffee and then steers him over to a booth in the corner. God, now he’s really fucking nervous; Rick’s quiet, uncomfortably so, and it’s kind of off-putting.

“So listen,” Rick says when they sit down, before Negan can speak at all, “I like you. But..”

And there it is. The but. The let-down. God, Negan shouldn’t feel so hurt. They barely know each other, for fuck’s sake. And yet it fucking burns, aches in every corner of his body, and he exhales.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.” Rick chuckles softly, a shy hesitant sort of sound. “ _But_. I think.. we will have a lot to work on, if this is.. something we want to pursue.”

“Wait. So you’re _not_ telling me to fuck off?” Negan’s blurting it out before he thinks about what he’s saying, and Rick’s eyebrows raise.

“No. Did you think I was going to?”

“Well, maybe..” Negan pauses to sip at his coffee. Rick had remembered his order. “After your reaction to.. what I did.. I just figured. That’s usually the deal breaker for anybody I’m interested in.”

“I’m not gonna lie, it.. it scares me a little. But I also think you genuinely feel bad for it, and I wanna trust you, Negan. So maybe we should, uh.. we could, maybe go out again. Get to know each other better. Right?”

“Uh,” Negan falters, “Yeah. That would be.. yeah. Um, so, this doesn’t count, does it?”

Rick laughs softly, shaking his head. “No. This doesn’t count. I work here.”

“Okay. Okay, good. Um – can I.. take you to dinner, then? Or is that too much?”

God, Rick has a way of making him fucking flustered. It’s dumb and he doesn’t know why but every time he even looks at Rick he gets tongue-tied and stupid. It’s kind of annoying, but every time Rick laughs it makes it worth it. Like right now.

“Dinner’s fine.” Rick says gently, expression soft. “I just.. need to know I can trust you.”

“You can.” Negan almost trips over the words trying to get them out, shoving down excitement in his stomach. “God, you can. Uh – so – Saturday? Is that okay?”

Rick smiles a little, tilting his head. “Yeah. That’s fine. Listen.. I didn’t mean to freak out on you about any of that. I just-”

“Don’t.” Negan’s reaching for Rick’s hand before he knows it, and he warms with pleasure when Rick doesn’t pull away. “Don’t apologize. You’ve had experiences that.. I mean, it’s okay. I get it.”

“Yeah,” Rick murmurs. “Okay. I, um, should probably get back to work now. But you have my number, so..”

“Yeah.” Negan echoes, and almost subconsciously he lifts Rick’s hand and brushes a kiss over Rick’s knuckles. Rick flushes, the tips of his ears going pink, but regardless smiles shyly and slips away. Negan’s left staring after the barista, buzzing with happiness. Rick keeps looking at him and blushing, especially when he wiggles his fingers in a wave, and damn, that’s cute. Fuck. After a few minutes of watching Rick, he tears his gaze away to text Simon.

_Yeah – I’m not so sure about the “temporary infatuation” anymore._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i just wanted to say  
> im not good at responding to people. a potent cocktail of mental illness has left me.... almost literally unable to coherently talk to people lol  
> and so my response to all your nice comments tends to be something like keysmashing but mentally. which is... not an appropriate response to most of you! with how much thought you put into your comments and how nice you are!! and i hate seeming ungrateful cause i'm not and i appreciate every comment that gets left on my works. i'm just really bad at responding like a normal human being  
> so **thank you**. for real, sincerely. every kudos, every nice comment, i think about it for days and days and it makes me so happy that you guys enjoy the stuff i put out. thank you for all of it. 8') even if i don't respond, just know it means the world to me...........  
>  anyway. onto the chapter

When Negan gets home from work Thursday night, somewhat sore from being whacked with basketballs all day, Dwight’s the only one home, having thrown himself on the couch at some point after his shift. Dwight’s head tilts back lazily to watch him as he sheds his jacket and boots and rubs at a probable bruise on his side.

“You’ve got a bill.” Dwight says, holding an envelope, and Negan groans.

“Yeah, ‘course I do.” What else. He takes the white envelope and glances it over with a sigh. Phone bill. Naturally. Fuck, being an adult is so fucking hard, and he’s been at it almost 42 years.

God he’s old.

He absently drags Dwight’s legs off the couch and settles in the newly vacated space, only to get Dwight’s fucking feet in his lap. Not that it’s unusual. He and Dwight might not always get along – fights are just about an everyday thing – but at the end of the day they can still chill.

“Where’s Simon?” Negan asks after about ten minutes of mind-numbing television. It’s only now he’s realizing Simon’s not home – but Simon _always_ gets home before him.

“Dunno. He hasn’t been home since I got home.”

Negan frowns a little, pulling his phone out of his pocket. It’s not like Simon to skip out on them. He’s got a couple of unread texts but nothing from Simon. It’s a little worrying, because if any of them are liable to do something illegal it’d be Simon – but then, Simon’s also the one who would get away with shit. Negan can’t decide if that’s good or bad. He pushes the issue to the side for the moment after firing a text Simon’s way, and then opens the unread ones – _Rick_.

_Hey, can you pick me up on Saturday? My car died :(_ reads the first; the second is his address, asking what time Negan’s going to come pick him up. Negan feels a smirk tug at the corners of his lips. Presumptuous bastard.

“You texting Rick?” Dwight says, although Negan thinks it’s more mocking than anything. Negan frowns at him.

“How do you-”

“Simon.” Dwight waves a hand idly, glancing only briefly at Negan. “He’s really invested in you two. It’s like a bad soap opera.”

Negan sighs. “Apparently he’s not the only one. Every time I go down to the shop seems like there’s more and more people watchin’.”

“Well,” Dwight says, “Fuck ‘em, right? Do what makes you happy. Rick makes you happy, right?”

“Yeah..” Negan murmurs, glancing down at his phone and fixating on the little frowny face. “He does. You’re right.”

“Mhm. Always am. So what’re your brats doing?”

* * *

Simon finally returned just after two AM, and given the lipstick on his shoulder Negan doesn’t even want to know. It’s this Negan can’t stop thinking about while he waits for Rick to come outside; more specifically what Rick might look like after Negan’s done with him. Probably all pink, spread out and fucked over, laying panting in the sheets, streaked with both his own and Negan’s cum, Negan still teasing him a little, just to hear his pretty sounds..

Rick getting into the car and shutting the door startles him out of his thoughts, and he clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably and trying to hide his self-inflicted boner. He offers Rick a little smile that Rick returns all shy like. Damn, Rick’s fucking cute.

“Ready to go, sugar?”

“Yeah.” Rick carefully buckles, and Negan can’t help chuckling. Rick just gives him a pout. “What?”

“Nothing. Just.. you’re cute.”

“Safety is important!” Rick’s blushing, though, rolling his eyes. “Just in case..” He trails off at the look on Negan’s face and sighs. “Yeah, fine,” He mumbles, “Let’s go.”

“You know,” Rick adds, while Negan’s pulling out of the driveway. “You’ve been callin’ me sugar a lot. I should call you somethin’.” After a moment of musing, he grins slyly, and says, “I could call you asshole.”

Negan glances at him and barks a laugh. “Shit, I’ve been called worse. I don’t care what _you_ call me, Rick, even if it’s just ‘hey you’.”

Rick’s grin only widens. “Guess I shouldn’t call you that, anyways. Kids might hear. Hm.. I’ll think of somethin’.”

Rick looks good, Negan thinks as they tear down the highway. A light blue plaid buttondown over black jeans (Negan suspects they might be _skinny jeans_ ), all of which hugs his figure and sort of makes Negan want to pull over and devour Rick right on the side of the highway. Of course, he decides Rick wouldn’t be pleased with that, so he files the thought away for later. Definite masturbation fuel: Rick all laid out in the backseat of the car, legs spread, fighting to keep his voice down as Negan fucks the living shit out of him.

_God. I need to get off later_.

Somehow he manages to get them to the restaurant without crashing or giving in to the urge to have Rick under him. He even manages to hold a conversation – about space, no less. Apparently Rick is obsessed with space, the stars and galaxies and the _size_ of it all. Negan bites back another dumb pickup line, although it’s not like he would have time to say it, Rick’s talking so much, so enthusiastically. It’s fucking adorable.

“Maybe I’ll buy you a galaxy.” Negan says musingly, mostly to himself, while they’re waiting to be seated. Then he catches the look Rick gives him and raises his eyebrows questioningly. “What?”

“You’d buy me a galaxy?”

Negan feels his face go warm and he coughs. “Did I.. say that out loud?”

“Yeah.” At least Rick’s blushing, too. He would feel dumb if Rick wasn’t even affected. After a moment he huffs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“Yeah, well. There ain’t anything too good for you, Rick.”

“Oh,” is Rick’s only response, soft and uncertain. Negan’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

“You know,” Rick muses when they’re seated and have gotten their drinks, scanning over the menu, “It’s been a while since I’ve been on an actual date.”

“I still can’t believe that.” Negan huffs a little and shakes his head. “I mean – and I hope I’m not coming on too strong here, but – you’re _gorgeous_ , Rick. Seriously – three years and nobody’s ever tried to be in my place?”

“Now, I never said that.” Rick says wryly, offering Negan a sly little smile, and it takes a moment for the words to sink in. Negan gapes at him.

“ _Me_?” is the first thing out of Negan’s mouth, staring incredulously at Rick. “Rick, I can guarantee you, every single person that’s ever talked to you would be better for you than me.”

“Maybe.” Rick shrugs, sipping at his sweet tea. “I wouldn’t know, I didn’t pick them. You’re interesting, Negan. I like _you_.”

“Oh. Well, uh.. oh.” Negan shifts, suddenly embarrassed. “Thanks. I think.”

Rick just flashes a grin, blue eyes dropping to the table. “Just take the stupid compliment.”

“Okay.” Negan’s cheeks are warm and he pours himself into the menu. After a few moments he sits back, glancing at Rick, who looks at him and immediately flushes. “Tell me about you,” Negan says abruptly, leaning on his hands.

“What?” Rick sounds as lost as he looks, a soft little frown gracing his face. Negan shifts.

“I want to know about you, Rick. I mean.. I pretty much told you everything about my entire fuckin’ life at the bar, Rick. But all I know about you is you were a cop and your wife cheated on you after you got shot. Oh – and you’re the hot and _only_ barista at the coffee shop downtown. What else is there to you, Rick?”

“Oh, uh..” Rick begins to squirm. “I’m.. I’m not that interesting, really.”

“You are to me.” Negan counters. “Come on, Rick, humor me. I wanna know.”

“What do you even want to know?”

“ _Everything_ ,” Negan says enthusiastically, hazel eyes lighting up. “I don’t care, tell me a random fact.”

“Umm..” Rick scratches idly at his beard, frowning a little in thought. “How about.. I’ve only been with one person in my life, ‘n that was my wife.”

Negan’s eyebrows raise. “ _Really_? That’s.. surprising. I mean, take no offense, Rick..”

“Yeah, I know.” Rick hums, sipping from his tea again. “It’s not a usual thing. I just.. I dunno.. I was only ever interested in her. There wasn’t anybody else.. especially once I met her. But even before that I just never.. wanted.. that. You know?”

Negan inclines his head, frowning thoughtfully. “Huh. You know, some of the kids I teach are like that, so I guess it’s not too odd.”

Rick looks surprised for a moment, glass half-raised. “You.. don’t think it’s weird?”

“Well..” Negan hesitates, biting the inside of his cheek. “To be honest, I don’t understand it,” He adds after a pause to collect his thoughts, and pretends he doesn’t see Rick’s face fall, “But I don’t have to, ‘cause it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you feel and even if I don’t get it.. I mean, it’s not up to me. And.. you know, maybe one day I will get it, if you can stand me that long. Hell, it took me ten years to accept I was bisexual. Five more to feel comfortable with sayin’ it. So, you know.. I don’t care. Your feelings are yours and my opinion isn’t gonna change that. I hope any of that made sense.” After a moment of silence, he murmurs, “I wouldn’t want to change you, anyway.”

Rick swallows and for a moment Negan’s terrified he’s made the poor dude cry. Then Rick makes a shaky laugh, shaking his head.

“God. You’re the first person not to tell me that’ll change ‘cause I’m a guy. Fuck.”

“You’re not going to cry, are you?” Negan says, half-teasing, ignoring the way the word _fuck_ rolls so easily off Rick’s tongue. It’s.. the first time he’s heard Rick swear. He’s gotta be honest; it sounds good in Rick’s honey Southern drawl. Suddenly his jeans are a little tight and he shifts to ease the tension.

“No. No, God, sorry.” Rick laughs again, scratching at his beard in embarrassment. “Just.. I knew there was a reason I liked you. Under your.. you know, you, there’s a good person.”

“Of all the words to describe me, I’m not sure I’d use good.” Negan shrugs a little, relaxing now that he’s sure Rick’s not going to start crying right then and there. “But if you say so. So what else is there to you, Mr. It’s Complicated?”

Negan manages to coax all manner of things out of Rick over dinner and a few glasses of wine. He learns Rick’s wife (Lori, he thinks) had wanted to open a bakery before her untimely death during the birth of their daughter, and Rick had opened it for her after retiring. Damn if that’s not the sweetest fucking sentiment.

Rick also confesses he’d had a best friend, who’d been on the force with him, but had been shot and died. Negan doesn’t miss the look of grief that crosses his face for a moment; but then he’s talking about the few times he’d been shot on the force, leaving no time for Negan to express sympathies. It’s a little odd, but Negan gets the feeling the wound is still fresh, and decides not to push it.

On the car ride home, Rick gently slips his hand into Negan’s, although when Negan glances at him he’s still looking straight ahead. Negan feels a grin tug at the corners of his mouth but says nothing. He’s gotten Rick to warm back up to him and he’s not going to fuck that up.

Rick keeps tapping on Negan’s palm, and when he pulls into Rick’s driveway they sit in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments. Negan’s not really sure if he’s supposed to say something here. But then, Rick’s not saying anything, either, so maybe Rick’s waiting for _him_ to say something? And he can’t stop thinking about the fact that Rick hasn’t let go of his hand.

“Rick-” He begins uncertainly, wondering for a moment if Rick’s going to steal his car and make him walk home, and then chiding himself for it. But then Rick grabs him by the lapels of his dumb leather jacket and kisses him, and oh, man, Rick’s lips _are_ fucking soft.

He finds himself letting go of Rick’s hand in favor of cupping the stubbled jaw. He’s enamored with the feel of Rick against him, makes sure to memorize every little detail of the moment lest he forget someday. God fucking _damn_ Rick Grimes.

Rick pulls back first, cheeks pink, gaze dropping to the floor like he’s afraid Negan’s going to be pissed. Negan’s.. a little in shock, trying hard to wrap his mind around the fact Rick had just kissed him with absolutely no indication of doing so before. Hot damn.

“Rick,” He repeats, and finds his voice is extremely raspy. He clears his throat and tries again. “Rick, I.. wow. Was there, um, any particular reason you did that, or, uh..?”

“Just, I just wanted to.” Rick shrugs a little, expression growing more embarrassed by the second. “Sorry.”

“No, Jesus, don’t apologize. You just, uh, surprised me, that’s all. So does – does that mean I can, uh, expect to take you on another date?”

Rick smiles a little, finally looking up at Negan, and once again Negan’s struck by how _beautiful_ Rick is. Not just handsome, even – actually, genuinely _beautiful_.

“Yeah,” Rick murmurs, real soft, “It does.”

Negan would be lying if he said that didn’t make him so happy he couldn’t speak; and he kisses Rick again, just for good measure. Rick moves to get out of the car afterwards, and Negan calls after him.

“Then I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> juuuust in case anybody missed it i have a [twd blog](https://binegan.tumblr.com/) ........... yall should sure as peach go follow me ;*

_Hey_

_Hey_

_You didn't forget about me did you? :(_

_You’re at least awake right?_

_NEGAN_

Negan groans into the pillow, breath catching in the fabric and heating his face. For a long moment he considers just throwing the damn phone across the room; but then, he can’t exactly afford a new one. So for the time being he buries his head under the pillow, trying to drown out the incessant buzzing – but when it doesn’t let up he rolls onto his back and snatches it off his desk. God. Who the fuck wants his attention so bad?

Rick. He should have figured.

Still, despite his displeasure at being woken up, the sight of Rick’s name on his screen fills him with a pleased warmth. He’s fallen into the habit of texting Rick when he wakes up in the morning and before he goes to sleep at night, and sometimes even at lunch if Rick texts him. Usually it’s a picture. Of a dog. Or a cat. Anything that happens to be walking by at the time. Followed by Rick raving about how cute said animal is. Negan has to admit, it’s pretty damn adorable.

Negan squints at the screen for a long few moments, trying to read the damn texts, but he’s still tired, and after a moment he reluctantly grabs his glasses and pushes them on. Fuck, sometimes he feels so old. He scans over the texts and then glances at the time, confused. 6:30 AM. Hell, fuck, shit. He usually gets up at 6 with his alarm, but it either got turned off or he’d slept through it, which he’s done before. He says a silent prayer that Rick had managed to wake him up in time to get in a shower before he goes to work, and fires off a text back saying as much before he gets into the shower.

When he gets out he checks his phone. Rick’s only sent him one text: _What would you do without me?_ He chortles to himself as he gets dressed and slings his bag over his shoulder, calling a quick goodbye to Simon on his way out the door. It’s amazing, he thinks, how quickly Rick had turned his life around. He’s actually _enjoying_ work for once.

All of these joyous thoughts are brought to a halt when he gets hit in the face with a volleyball. And, naturally, his face decides a fountain of blood is the best course of action. He manages a stream of swears while he tries to stop the bleeding, pinching the bridge of his nose, students buzzing around him to check if he’s okay. At least it’s not broken; that’s a plus. At least, he doesn’t think so. He figures he would know if it was.

Eventually he manages to get the bleeding to stop. Fuck, it fucking smarts. But he feels bad because the poor girl that hit him feels bad, so he makes up a lame joke on the spot about how it’s going to teach him to avoid balls to the face later in life. And even though his students don’t get it – or maybe they do, they’re freshmen, they know a lot more than he would like to think – his brain decides an inappropriate vision of Rick is a good way to punctuate that sentence.

God he’s got it bad.

By the time the final bell rings half an hour later he’s so goddamn tired of sports. He loves his kids, of course, and he loves watching them get pumped, but he always ends up sore as hell. It’s not exactly good for his muscles. _And_ he’s still got grades to put down; he wonders, as he sits at his desk, what he’d done to deserve this.

He’s almost finished when his phone rings. It makes him jump, actually; he’d been immersed in trying to figure out how to even out some poor kid’s grade. He glances at it, already half-decided to ignore it, at least until he notices it’s Rick. Holy hell, he’s completely overshot their usual meetup time.

“Hey, sugar,” He drawls, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder when he answers in order to keep working. “Miss me?”

“Are you.. uh.. are you comin’?” Rick sounds tentative, and Negan realizes too late that his greeting wasn’t an appropriate one, especially with Rick being so uncertain about their relationship as it is. He lets out a vague little groan.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’ve been putting in grades for the progress report and I totally lost track of time. I’ll be around as soon as I can.. if you’re still open.” He tries to keep the suggestiveness out of his voice, but in truth has no idea if his attempt succeeds or not. Rick shifts on the other side of the line.

“We will be.”

And it doesn’t matter if he succeeded, because the suggestion in Rick’s tone is enough to have him working twice as fast.

* * *

When he finally gets into the cafe there’s fucking nobody left. Not that Negan minds all that much; he can dawdle and spend some time with Rick. And speaking of..

Rick glances up at him and then double takes, blue eyes widening minutely. He scoots around the counter, grabbing Negan’s face and frowning.

“Oh my _God_ , what happened to you?”

“What?” Negan frowns a little as well, blinking down at Rick. “Whaddya mean?”

“Your – come here.” Rick drags him off towards the bathroom, and he follows curiously. Rick seems worried about him, which is cute, and it’s not until he catches himself in the mirror that he realizes he’d forgotten to clean the blood from his face. Whoops. Now half the town probably thinks he’s some sort of murderer, or something, walking around all bloody and shit. He barks a laugh, shaking his head, and Rick’s frown deepens.

“Sorry, sugar, I’m not laughing at you,” Negan says, when the amusement subsides. “Ahh.. one of my girls hit me in the face with a volleyball. I’m alright, just forgot to wash all that shit off.”

“Jeez.” Rick huffs, shoving his hands in his pockets while Negan turns on one of the faucets and grabs some paper towels. “I thought you were really hurt, turnin’ up in here all covered in blood..”

“I’m fine,” Negan promises, carefully wiping away the blood as he speaks. “Looks worse than it is. Sorry I scared you, I.. honestly just forgot.”

Rick sighs, blue eyes scanning Negan’s face like he might be hiding more injuries. “It’s fine. Sorry I freaked out on you. I guess, bein’ a dad, I see somebody hurt and I kinda.. go into overdrive. I think I forgot you’re a grown man and can worry about your own facial injuries.”

“Ah, but where’s the fun in that?” Negan turns off the water, wiping his face with his shirt. He notices the way Rick’s gaze flits momentarily to his exposed stomach and then away, as if embarrassed, and adds tactfully, “I mean, why should I worry over myself when I got someone to do it for me?”

Rick flushes and frowns at him good-naturedly. “I never said I was gonna look after you.”

Negan chuckles. “Nah, but I think we both know you’re gonna, whether you want to or not.”

Rick’s still avoiding Negan’s gaze, and Negan softens, tilts his head up. He swallows hard, and Negan notes the sudden quickness of his breath.

“You don’t need to be afraid.” Negan murmurs. Rick sets his jaw defiantly.

“I’m not,” He retaliates, which is a lie and they both know it. Negan hums thoughtfully and then leans down, carefully giving Rick time to pull away from the kiss, if he so desires.

Negan’s not sure how or when it happens, but then he’s got Rick against the wall and Rick’s kissing him back enthusiastically, hands winding into his hair. He groans against the impossibly soft lips against his own, fingers creeping up under Rick’s shirt, and he feels Rick shiver and gasp, all soft like. Fuck, Rick’s gotta be one of the most beautiful guys he’s ever fucking seen.

It’s only when Rick moans a “fuck!” into the kiss that Negan realizes he’s got his knee in between Rick’s thighs, both hands on Rick’s ass, and his dick is achingly hard, pressed to Rick’s hip. God; as much as he would like to take Rick right here and now he’s not sure a bathroom is the best place. So, against his own wants, he pulls back, letting Rick catch a breath.

Rick’s pretty blue eyes are hazy and his lips are kiss-swollen, but he seems to come back to himself a little when Negan steps away. He takes a deep, shaky breath, trying to compose himself.

“Sorry,” Negan mutters, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s.. fine.” Rick takes another breath, eyes closing for a moment. “It wasn’t all you, anyway..” Rick coughs, shuffling his feet, and Negan takes the opportunity to move back a little more. He’d been downright lying: he knows exactly what had gotten into him, and he gets the impression Rick does as well. So instead of dwelling on it he opens the door to the bathroom and glances back at Rick.

“I still want my coffee.” He says, just barely teasing, and Rick relaxes, giving his arm a playful smack on the way by.

“Alright. I see.” Rick says, with the vaguest hint of a smile. “I’ll get that for you, _sir_.”

Negan knows that wasn’t meant to be sexual. He just fucking knows it. But as soon as it leaves Rick’s mouth in that honey sweet drawl he’s got one hand in the curls at the base of Rick’s neck, the other on Rick’s back, taking Rick in a harsh kiss that draws an involuntary moan from the slighter man. For a moment Rick seems too surprised to do anything but kiss back desperately, fists curling into his shirt, before finally processing what’s happening.

“Okay, okay, stop,” Rick pants, pulling back, with that same hazy look from before. “We’re not.. we’re out in the open now.”

“Sorry, sugar, I can’t help myself.” Negan noses against Rick’s jaw, leaving a soft little bite before moving away. “Especially when you call me fuckin’ _sir_. Just a warning.. calling me that.. I don’t give a damn if we’re in public, hearin’ you say it once makes me want to hear you say it again, preferably while I’m fu-”

“Okay!” Rick’s turning a delightful shade of pink and he covers his face with embarrassment. “I think I know what you’re getting at, don’t finish that sentence. Not.. not here..”

“There’s nobody here.” Negan flashes a wolfish grin as Rick hurries behind the counter to make the coffee. “You sure I can’t talk about fucki-”

“Yes!” Rick squirms, putting down the glass a little hard than he’d meant to. His hands are shaking, and for a moment Negan worries that he’d been misinterpreting Rick’s reactions. Then Rick adds, voice shaking a little, “Maybe you could.. come over. For a movie, don’t even look at me like that – but, um, Carl’s spending the night at a friend’s on Friday, I could ask Maggie to watch Judith and you could come.. see a movie. At my place.”

“Mm. That sounds fun. A movie date.. maybe we could actually go to a theater?”

“Um, I think it’d be better if we didn’t.” Rick gives him a look, and he knows his previous comments have probably ruined any chance of further public dates, but he’ll take it if it means he gets Rick in bed. “At least.. not at first. We should give it a while.”

Rick moves back over to him, handing him the cup, and he sips from it. “So theater sex is not out of the question..”

“Do you even have a filter?” Rick shakes his head, laughing softly. Negan’s grin only widens.

“Absolutely not. I don’t have the best handle on flirting, see, so when I see someone hot I basically overuse innuendos.”

Rick flushes with embarrassment, folding his arms. “Stop it, you.”

“What?” Negan raises his eyebrows, free hand sliding into Rick’s; he’s pleased that Rick gives his hand a little squeeze. “Am I not allowed to call you hot?”

“No.” Rick pouts at him, and it dawns on him it’s a self-conscious thing, not just a pretentious thing, and he laughs, nudging Rick’s shoulder with his own.

“Too bad, sugar, it’s already stuck. You’re my hot..” He trails off, uncertain as to what Rick’s comfortable with. “..person.”

For a moment they’re silent. Then Rick is overcome with giggles, pulling his hand away to cover his mouth. Negan frowns, warmth coloring up over his cheeks.

“Your ‘hot person’,” Rick repeats, stifling more laughter. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughin' at you, just..”

“I don’t know what else to call you,” Negan mutters, scuffing the ground with one boot and sipping uncomfortably from the coffee again. “I dunno if we’re to boyfriends yet, or..”

“I think boyfriends is appropriate.” Rick shrugs a little, the laughter dying down finally. “I mean, we’ve only been seeing each other.. what, two, three weeks? And considering you basically just tongue fucked me in the bathroom..”

“Mm, I could really tongue fuck you, if you want.” Negan waggles his eyebrows and Rick sighs over-dramatically. “In all seriousness, Rick, I really love hearing you say the word fuck."

“I try not to use it.” Rick shifts, folding his arms. “My kids.. I really don’t want either one of them running around yellin’ it, you know?”

“That’s fair.” Negan shrugs idly, watching Rick move around the store to clean up. “So, you’re my super hot boyfriend, and I may or may not get to tongue fuck you in a theater at some point. Anything else I should get out of this conversation?”

Rick just laughs, pausing to give him a kiss that doesn’t last nearly long enough. “Yes. You can come by on Friday at six.”


	8. Chapter 8

Negan showers directly after work, feeling like a teenager with a flimsy crush. He tells himself he’s not, and immediately afterwards spends about twenty minutes trying to find the right outfit. Fuck, Rick’s got him all fucked up and nervous. It’s just not fair. Eventually he settles on a light blue t-shirt and his typical gray jeans, along with his jacket – which he doesn’t see himself wearing for very long, but it makes him feel better.

Still, he shows up at six like they’d agreed. When he pulls up the lights on the lower floors are shining through the windows, although the curtains are drawn. He’s gotten used to seeing Rick every few days at the coffee house after work, but dates still give him butterflies. He really wants to make a good impression.. and he also sort of wants to coax Rick into bed, after the little show in the bathroom. But then, that can come later, when Rick’s really ready.

Rick opens the door when he knocks, and he’s almost immediately blinded by the radiance of his boyfriend’s smile. Fuck, getting to say that still fills Negan with a warmth he can’t quite explain, and he finds himself drawing Rick into a kiss. Rick sighs contentedly, both hands resting on his chest for a moment.

“Jeez,” Rick mumbles when he pulls away, cheeks a delicate shade of pink that makes Negan want to devour him. “All out in public and stuff.. at least come inside.”

“You sure we’re watchin’ movies tonight, Rick?” Negan teases, following Rick into the entrance hall and nudging the door shut behind him with his foot. Rick huffs.

“Yes, we’re actually watching movies. Keep your pants on.”

Rick leads the way into the living room and gestures for Negan to sit. Negan takes note of the liquor cabinet in the dining room and momentarily wonders what kind of drunk Rick is. Probably a giggly drunk. Or maybe a sleepy one? He wonders if he’ll get to find out – or when, he supposes. He’s in too deep to back out now.

“So what’re we watching, sugar?” Negan prompts, kicking off his shoes next to the door and shrugging off his jacket. Rick frowns a little.

“What kind of movies are you into? We’ve, uh.. we kinda collect movies, so.. we’ve got a lot.”

“You’re starting to sound like me. Fuck, I would say horror – real guts and shit – but maybe we oughta stick with something light. I dunno, a rom-com? Surprise me.” Negan leans back, enjoying Rick’s couch for a moment. It’s got that feel like it isn’t used very often. Negan wonders just how long it’s been since anyone actually sat here.

“A rom-com, huh?” Rick pauses in looking through the shelves upon shelves of DVDs to give Negan an incredulous grin. “You really are tryin’ to get somewhere with this, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” Negan shrugs a little, watching Rick reach up and pull down a few DVDs from the top shelf. “Gonna be honest, though, Rick, I don’t really care _what_ we get up to, as long as I get to be with you.”

He realizes as soon as he says it how _sappy_ that sounds, and a flush creeps up his throat into his cheeks. Rick turns a very specific shade of pink, but nevertheless gives Negan a playful little shove and his way to put the DVD in.

“Maybe there is a heart in you somewhere.” Rick teases softly, grabbing up the remote and settling in next to Negan. Negan pretends to look affronted.

“Of course there is, sugar. You doubtin’ me?” Negan leans to press a kiss to Rick’s temple, and Rick shifts to steal a quick kiss than he’s reluctant to let go of. He finds his hands winding into Rick’s curls, but before they can get too far Rick pulls away.

“We’re watching the goddamned movie,” He says firmly, and Negan gives a fake, over-exaggerated sigh. “Control yourself. At least for one movie.”

“I know, I know. Sorry, sugar, I just can’t help myself. Not when you’re so damn pretty.” Negan shifts to brush a kiss along the back of Rick’s neck, and Rick exhales, leaning a little more into the warmth of Negan’s chest.

“Mm.. just be patient. We’ll get there. I mean, eventually. Just.. I don’t..” Rick trails off for a moment, looking embarrassed, and Negan pauses, running his hand up Rick’s arm. “Uh. I’ve never.. I mean.. you know.. I’m..”

“Don’t worry about it.” Negan hums softly, kissing Rick’s temple again. “We don’t have to do anything.”

Rick nods, sinking into him. “I know.”

Negan’s hand rubs absently over Rick’s thigh while they’re watching the movie. Rick’s wearing sweatpants, and the fabric is soft under Negan’s fingers – he can’t stop touching it. They’ve adjusted positions by now, Negan leaning against the warm of the couch with Rick tucked against his chest between his legs. Negan finds that for once he’s not thinking about sex; he’s pleased just with Rick’s warmth against him, the comfortableness of the whole situation.

He also finds himself increasingly frustrated by the idiot boy, who continues pursuing the popular girl, even when the girl who he’s obviously going to end up with keeps trying to get his attention. He guesses it’s because he’s not a teenager anymore, and he doesn’t see the point in hopeless pursuits, but still. Lucille had gotten him hooked on rom-coms ages ago, and even now he has a particular taste in them.

Doesn’t stop him from being relieved when the dumbass finally learns the moral of the story and kisses the love interest, though.

For a few moments they sit in silence, watching the credits. Negan doesn’t move, only because Rick is still settled into him comfortably; his fingers still rubbing over Rick’s thigh idly. Then Rick shifts, sighing softly, and Negan glances down.

Rick’s fallen asleep, pretty blue eyes hidden behind long dark eyelashes. He’s got one little curl clinging to his forehead, soft pink lips parted slightly, and his fingers are wound loosely into Negan’s shirt. Fuck, oh _fuck_. Negan also notices the hint of dark circles under Rick’s eyes, though. He hadn’t stopped to think about how tired Rick must be, being a single dad on top of running the coffee shop every day – by himself, as far as Negan can tell.

Negan cautiously leans over to grab the remote and turns the TV off. Rick shifts a little again, burying his face against Negan’s chest with a reluctant groan, and for a moment Negan’s afraid he’s woken Rick up. Then Rick relaxes again with another soft sigh, arms winding loosely around Negan’s chest. Negan hadn’t really intended to spend the night, but he just doesn’t have the heart to move Rick. So he adjusts until he’s comfortable, flat on his back, slinging one arm around Rick’s waist and the other over his eyes. The warmth of Rick on top of him is a little distracting, and he reminds himself he’s a grown fucking man and he should be able to control himself.

He drops off, at some point. His dreams are filled with a confusing bright light that urges him to come closer, against his better judgement. And.. the scent of coffee, soft and soothing, coaxing him away. He’s tearing in two, he thinks, unsure of where to go; and when he finally wakes up in the morning he’s more lost than he’s been in a long time.

It takes him a few moments to start really waking up. He registers Rick, still clinging to him, breath soft and warm on his neck, and the pressing erection between them. His first thought is that he should probably move Rick and take care of that elsewhere; at least, until he realizes it’s not his dick. The thought hits him like a ton of bricks and suddenly he’s a bit too warm, squirming a little in an attempt not to do anything inappropriate. Rick had expressed discomfort the previous night, and while making out might be okay, Negan’s pretty sure that his wandering thoughts are exactly what Rick’s nervous about.

Rick groans unhappily at being woken, eyelashes fluttering against Negan’s skin. Every touch is a little too much all of a sudden, and Negan’s starting to panic a little, trapped between not wanting Rick to be uncomfortable and his quickly rising arousal. Rick sits back a little, blue eyes glazed with sleep and confusion.

“Negan?” He says, voice raspy, which.. doesn’t help Negan at all. “Are you okay?”

Negan’s gaze flicks down between them momentarily and then back to Rick’s face, and he takes a deep breath. “I’m.. fine. I just – uh – you know, um.” He pauses uncertainly, watching the color rise in Rick’s cheeks. Fuck, he wishes he had a little better control over his dick, and he makes an attempt to will it down.

Rick sits up further, sucking his full lower lip between his teeth. God. Negan’s gaze trains on it and he’s trying so fucking hard, but Rick’s attractive and more importantly _not moving_. Rick’s hands reach up, gently brushing over Negan’s cheeks, and Negan sucks in a deep breath.

“Negan,” Rick says, voice soft. “Will you.. I mean – do you mind if.. I just. It’s been a while since I’ve had any time to.. you know..”

“I’ll go if you want,” Negan responds, a bit too fast. “If you need to.. be by yourself..”

Rick laughs shakily, head dipping. “That’s not what I meant.” Rick breathes, leaning until their foreheads touch. “If you’d like.. I mean.. you can stay.”

Oh, God. Negan couldn’t control the throbbing in his dick if he wanted to. He lets his hands run over Rick’s back, taking a soft breath, and Rick draws both legs up to straddle his lap instead of kneeling between them. He sits up, looking up at Rick, who’s expression is a little embarrassed.

“Are you sure, Rick?” He murmurs, hands skipping over Rick’s ass to the soft thighs. He can see how fucking hard Rick is through the sweatpants and Jesus, it’s not doing anything good to Negan’s self control. Rick swallows, blue eyes darkening.

“Yeah.” Rick breathes, hips pushing down until he’s grinding against Negan. Negan feels a groan building in his throat, lets his hands cup Rick’s ass finally, and then Rick’s kissing him almost desperately, rocking down, pressing closer to him.

“Fuck, Rick.” His voice is throatier than he’s heard it in a long time, and Rick shudders. He’s already decided Rick can take the lead, because he’s not sure if Rick even wants to get undressed, let alone anything else. “God, you’re so fucking hot.”

Rick makes a pitiful little sound and grabs at Negan’s shirt, hips stuttering a little in their roll. He’s trembling a little, letting out soft little breathless noises into Negan’s shoulder, and it dawns on Negan that Rick had admitted to only having been with his wife before this – so it’s probably definitely been a while since he’s seen any action besides his own hand.

“Negan,” Rick pants, hips jerking forward. “Fuck.”

“Thatta boy, Rick.” Negan presses open-mouthed kisses to Rick’s throat, and he gives his hips an idle upward roll, enjoying the warm friction it brings. “Please fuckin’ tell me this feels as good to you as it does to me.”

Rick nods. His breath comes short and hot against the skin of Negan’s neck, arms thrown loosely over Negan’s shoulders, and he’s shaking all over, thrusting haphazardly against Negan’s warmth. Fuck, everything about Rick is intoxicating; Negan thinks he just might get off on grinding alone.

“ _Negan_ ,” Rick keens again, and for the briefest of moments Negan thinks Rick might, too.

Then Rick sits back; Negan drags his knees up so Rick can lean on his legs. Rick’s trembling, blue eyes blown huge with want.. fuck, he’s so fucking attractive. Negan lets both hands trail up under Rick’s shirt, fingers fanning over the smooth skin of Rick’s belly, and Rick groans, head tilting back against Negan’s knees.

“What’re we doing next, Rick?” Negan purrs, gaze scanning Rick’s face. Rick swallows hard, quietly removes Negan’s hands from his chest, and Negan’s almost disappointed – almost, until he realizes Rick’s deftly unbuttoning his jeans. His dick gives a needy throb in his boxers. _Fuck_.

Negan makes to say something, at least until Rick’s fingers wrap around his cock. God, Rick’s hand feels fucking good, it makes his breath catch, coming out in a low groan instead. Rick looks shyly pleased, pink lower lip caught between his teeth, and Negan curls a hand around the back of his neck, drags him down for a rough kiss that makes Rick moan.

Rick makes a sound in the back of his throat, pulling away only to shove his pants down, the waistband snapping around his thighs. For a moment Negan wonders if they’re moving too fast, but then Rick’s dick is sliding against his own and every other thought except _yes_ floods out of his mind. Rick wraps one shaky hand around the both of them, hips rolling desperately, and Negan finds his thrusts matching Rick’s. His head is spinning with pleasure, both hands pressing bruises into Rick’s thighs, and he has no idea how he’s lasted this long under Rick’s touch.

“Negan.” Rick’s voice is choked, thick with desperation. “Negan, God, yes, I’m close, please.”

“That’s it.” Negan lets his hand take over from Rick’s, sliding down around their cocks and stroking. “That’s it, Rick, you’re in control, baby, just let go. I’m right here, I’ve got you, Rick, you’re so fucking gorgeous, so fucking beautiful, Rick, _fuck_..”

He’s not entirely sure if everything he’s saying is even understandable, but then again he’s not sure if it matters, either. Rick’s gone, mumbling incoherently into his shoulder, fingers grasping at his shirt, hips still bucking – but jerkily, and Negan knows he’s not going to last.

“Come for me, sugar,” Negan breathes, leaving soft, open-mouthed kisses to Rick’s neck, and Rick fucking _shatters_ , thighs tightening impossibly around Negan’s waist. He cries out unintelligibly into Negan’s shoulder, hips stuttering to a halt, pressed right up against Negan’s fist. Negan almost wishes he’d been wearing white – but then, he can appreciate it as a sort of marking. He’s completely Rick’s, even if Rick decides he doesn’t want him anymore.

“Oh, God,” Rick whines into his shirt, fingers winding into his hair for a moment. Fuck, he aches; but he’s not going to push what luck he’s already gotten. “Fuck. _Negan_.”

“I know,” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to Rick’s temple and wrapping both arms around the slighter man’s waist. “I know, sugar.”

Rick takes a few deep breaths, face buried in Negan’s collar. Slowly his grip relaxes and he sinks into Negan’s chest – but only for a moment before he sits back, blue gaze lowering between them.

“You – uh – you didn’t..”

“It’s fine.” Negan sits up a little, trying not to wince at the soft brush of his jeans zipper on the over-sensitive skin. “I got it, you don’t have to-”

“Let me help,” Rick urges, voice soft, and before Negan can protest he’s got one hand between their hips, fingers wrapping around Negan’s cock again. Negan bites back a hiss of pleasure, eyes slipping shut, reveling in the pleasure of Rick’s even strokes.

“God, Rick,” He says, and he sounds desperate even to his own ears. “Fuck, you do it so fucking good, baby. _Fuck, Rick_ , just like that..”

Rick hums softly, nuzzling into his jaw. His hands are fucking shaking, rubbing up and down Rick’s back, and he’s _right fucking there_ , if Rick could just-

Rick’s thumb swipes over the tip, probably an automatic movement, but it’s just enough to drive Negan over the edge. Rick gasps against his skin as his nails bite into Rick’s shoulders, but he can’t be bothered right now; his head falls back, and he might cry out – or maybe it’s just silent, he can’t tell. He’s overwhelmed by a white haziness that wipes out every coherent thought, hips pushing into Rick’s hand helplessly. He feels broken on the inside, like if he tries to get up he’ll just collapse right there in Rick’s living room.

“Negan,” Rick murmurs, voice all quiet and gentle, soothing. “Negan. Come back.”

“Fuck,” He manages, eyes fluttering open. He realizes he’s shaking. “Fucking fuck, Rick. God. That was.. _fuck_.”

Rick flushes a little with embarrassment, and he lets this look sink into his brain – Rick, in his lap, cock out, all flushed, still a little shaky from the orgasm. He lets out a breath, pulling Rick into him for a kiss, and Rick sighs softly against his lips. Idly his fingers wander under the waistband of Rick’s boxers, and it’s at this that Rick pulls back abruptly, dislodging his hands.

“Sorry,” Rick breathes, and he refuses to meet Negan’s eyes. “I just – I’m not – I don’t think I can-”

“Hey, it’s fine. Don’t apologize.” Negan adjusts to sit up a little straighter, arms looping around Rick’s waist instead. “If you don’t wanna go that far, it’s fine. Whatever you want.”

“I’m sorry,” Rick repeats, scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration. “I feel bad.. just, I don’t think I’m ready for..”

“Let me rephrase: you don’t fuckin’ _need_ to apologize, sugar, and you definitely don’t need to try and justify it. It’s completely okay, I get it. You don’t need to do anything until you’re ready. Okay?”

Rick lets out a breath and nods. “I’m sorry,” He says again, and then immediately clams up, looking embarrassed. “I mean – ah, fuck.”

Negan laughs softly, resting one hand on the back of Rick’s neck and leaning their foreheads together. “Don’t worry about it. I got you. Come on – I think we need to get dressed. Probably should clean up.”

Rick sighs, real soft, and before he answers he lets Negan steal a gentle little kiss. “Yeah,” He murmurs. “You’re right. I’m gonna have to go pick up Judith soon.. I’m not payin’ Maggie to watch her an’ I didn’t mean to leave her overnight.”

“Mhm.” Negan gently dislodges him, letting him clamber to his feet, shyly pulling his pants back up. Negan sighs in appreciation, tucking himself back into his jeans and redoing the zipper and button. Rick really is one of the most beautiful men Negan’s ever been fortunate enough to meet.

“Are you, um.. are you gonna come by Monday?” Rick asks, picking up his phone from the coffee table, and Negan chuckles.

“Like you could keep me away. What about today, though?”

“Jesus is workin’ today.” Rick says nonchalantly, and when Negan frowns in confusion he adds, “Oh, you’ve never met Jesus, have you? Yeah, he works down there with me. Usually days I can’t come in but sometimes when it’s really busy he picks up, too.”

“ _Jesus_?” Negan repeats, still trying to process this. Rick laughs – and there he goes again, covering his mouth all shy-like.

“Sorry. His real name’s Paul, but.. everybody just calls him Jesus. You’ll meet him one of these days. I would say you could stay and wash your shirt before you leave..” Rick tugs at the stained blue t-shirt for a moment. “..but I’m not sure when Carl’s gettin’ dropped off, and I kind of don’t want him walking in to a shirtless guy he’s never met in our hose.”

“That’s alright, sugar.” Negan catches another kiss, thumb stroking over Rick’s cheekbone. Fucking fuck, he can’t _stop_ kissing Rick. “I got a perfectly fine washing machine at home that I can use. I’ll see you Monday, right?”

Rick nods, blue eyes soft, light with affection. “I’m countin’ on it.”


	9. Chapter 9

Rick doesn’t text Negan back all day Monday. Not that Negan sends a ton of texts – but he’d at least expected something back during the morning, and he’d been looking forward to Rick’s cutesy lunch texts.

He spends most of the day coaching the kids through a haze of worry. At first he’d been afraid that he’d managed to piss Rick off, somehow, that he’d said something stupid. But then, as far as he can remember, he hadn’t said anything out of the usual for them – and Rick had been texting him back the night previous..

When he pulls up to the coffee shop he doesn’t see Rick’s car. He tries not to get too worked up, tries to think _well maybe Rick walked, maybe he decided not to come in, maybe he went home early_ , but Lucille lingers in his mind – she’d gone downhill fast, too fast, in mere days, before he even had a chance to process it. God, he’s not sure he could handle it if Rick-

He shuts the thoughts down before he spirals out of control and instead forces his feet to carry him into the shop. Behind the counter is a man he doesn’t recognize – hair thrown up into a messy bun that _doesn’t_ look stupid, although it’s really just that it doesn’t look dumb on _him_ specifically, carefully wiping down a few glasses. Said man glances up and flashes him a smile as he approaches the counter.

“Hey. You must be Negan, right?” He says, tone friendly but not overly friendly, and Negan pauses for a moment.

“Yeah. Uh, how did you-”

“I’m Jesus.” Jesus sets down the glass he’d been cleaning and moves on, eyes dancing with laughter, and Negan blinks a few times before he continues, “My name’s Jesus, anyway. Rick, uh, left a note with your order so I could tell who you were. Not that he needed to, to be honest with you, that boy talks about you almost as much as his kids.”

“Oh.” Negan fidgets for a moment, warmth coloring his cheeks. “He, uh.. wouldn’t happen to be here, would he?”

“’Fraid not.” Jesus’s easygoing smile drops and he rubs the back of his neck. “Seems Carl’s brought somethin’ home from somewhere. He wanted to stay, but, uh, we figured for sanitary reasons.. well, you know. He said to tell you he’s real sorry he missed you, though.”

“Damn,” is all Negan says, because he knows if he says anything else he’ll probably word-vomit on this poor stranger. Jesus shoots him a sympathetic glance.

“Do you still want your coffee?” Jesus prompts. “Like I said, Rick wrote it down.”

“Uh. Yeah, that’d be great.” It’s a real struggle to keep his voice from shaking. God, kids bring home sickness all the time, if he had a dime for every time he’d gotten sick from his students he’d be rich – but he can’t help it, can’t seem to stop the intense flow of memories and the unbidden terror that accompanies them. He’s overreacting and he knows it, but God damn if there’s anything he can do to turn it off.

Before he knows it Jesus is passing over the cup of coffee. He realizes his fingers are trembling. He swallows down the rising emotion in his throat and fishes his wallet out to pay, and Jesus offers him another sympathetic little smile.

“He said he’d try to be back in tomorrow, 'cause it was probably just one of those 24 hour things.”

“Thanks,” Negan says, and he’s surprised that his voice doesn’t stick in his throat. He accepts his change and walks away, finding himself in his usual spot, looking out at the street. Too loud, too busy, most of the time – but also, right now, just the little coffee shop feels overwhelming, too close and claustrophobic. Fuck, Negan knows this is an extreme reaction, but he hasn’t given himself time to think about Lucille since the hospital and now, with Rick sick, every thought he hadn’t paid attention to is clamoring at the front of his brain.

To try and distract himself he glances around at the other customers – a happy little couple and their toddler, trying to get him to try the blueberry muffin, and laughing when he takes the whole pastry in his little fists – an older woman, reading intently, her book in one hand and her coffee in the other – another couple, or so Negan could only assume, two gorgeous women sitting knee-to-knee, laughing and exchanging little touches; a new couple, if Negan had to guess. Just got together, probably. He pulls out his phone without thinking about it, pulling up his messages with Rick. The one from this morning, a regular “good morning, sugar”, is still unread.

_hey, sugar_ , he types, surprised that he manages to get it all out, _Jesus told me you were a little under the weather. let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay?_

He forces himself not to wait around for Rick to text back, instead trying to entertain himself with cat videos, but God, it’s so difficult. Even if Rick declines his offer, any text is a good text at this point. And for as much as he adores kittens he can’t stop thinking about Rick - not really.

His coffee is almost completely gone by the time Rick gets back to him. He’d just been about to leave, bag over his shoulder and everything – and it’s weird, because he’d gotten used to staying until closing to help Rick clean up – when his phone vibrates. He’d nearly jumped out of his skin, and then fumbled for a minute to get it out of his pocket. It’s clear, even through text, that Rick isn’t feeling well – all semblance of proper English has been thrown out the window.

_hey. jesus is right, carl brought somethin home i guess. feel like shit. i hate to ask but if u could bring some nyquil by my place id love u forever_

This is quickly followed by, _the pills or whatever pls, liquid shit is nasty_

Negan agrees at once, so relieved that Rick’s texting him back that he even gives Jesus a little wave that Jesus returns with that same easy-going smile. He’d like to get to know Rick’s friends a little better, and he knows he should, but he’s never been great with people and that’s not exactly something he’s going to attempt by himself. Although Jesus seems the type that whoever he’s speaking to doesn’t _have_ to get along with people to feel comfortable with him. He just radiates comfort and friendliness – and unlike most people like that, Negan finds it’s bearable and not completely sickening.

Negan drops by the local Walgreens on his way to Rick’s, picking up the double pack of both Dayquil and Nyquil and spending a couple of minutes debating on whether he should get the “Severe” or not – and eventually deciding to get both. God, he’d probably buy land on the moon if Rick asked for it.

When Negan pulls up and gets Rick to the door, the first thing he notices is how much of a _mess_ Rick looks. Rick’s dark curls are everywhere – the true definition of “bed head” – and he’s fever flushed pink, eyes tired and dark. Negan can’t help the stab of pity in his chest as he hands over the bag, and Rick peers inside.

“Negan,” Rick mumbles, glancing back up, voice raspy, and Negan can’t help but to notice how _thick_ his accent is right now. “You didn’t hafta get all this..”

“I know.” Negan shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “But I wanted to. Just in case, you know.”

“God, I forgot how good it is to have someone to bring me stuff when I’m sick.” Rick steps back to put the bag on the table and then returns to Negan, leaning on the doorframe. “I’d kiss you, but, um.. you know, I probably shouldn’t.”

“I don’t care. If I get sick, I get sick.” Negan punctuates his sentence by pressing a soft kiss to Rick’s lips, brushing one dark curl from Rick’s face, and Rick sighs shakily.

“I don’t deserve you,” Rick murmurs, reluctantly pulling away, and Negan softens.

“You’ve got a point. You deserve someone better. But I guess you gotta make do.” He grins, and Rick shakes his head a little.

“Guess I do.” Rick leans his forehead against Negan’s chest for a moment, and Negan can feel the burning of his skin. “I’m sorry to make you bring me this stuff but I don’ think I coulda made it out there ‘n back..”

“It’s fine.” Negan kisses the top of his head, running a hand down his back. “I don’t mind, sugar. You need anything else before I go?”

“No.” Rick pulls away, stepping back into his house and stifling a cough into his fist. “I got it. Thanks Negan.”

Negan steals another quick kiss. He’ll probably regret it later, but it’s worth it, because Rick grasps at the lapels of his jacket weakly and leans a little to keep the contact when he pulls back and he knows Rick appreciates it. He smooths Rick’s curls back and smiles softly when Rick looks up.

“I’ll, um, try to text you back tomorrow,” Rick offers, and he chuckles softly.

“You don’t gotta. All you should be worried about is restin’ up and gettin’ better, okay? Only text me if you’re up to it.”

Rick just nods, murmuring a goodbye, and Negan gives his forehead a quick kiss before turning away. The door clicks shut as Negan steps off the porch, and for a moment Negan considers going back up and offering to stay and help out. But Rick’s pretty independent and wouldn’t thank him for it, he knows, so he reins in the urge and heads back out to his car.

He almost misses the vibration of a text while he’s turning his car on. He fishes his phone out before he can pull away and grins a little; Rick’s already texted him.

_thanks, Negan. i’ll see you soon. promise._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im SO SORRY this is short even tho its been literally almost a month. theres been a lot going on involving the prep for dragoncon & dragoncon itself, so i didnt get to write much. :< i swear ill try to get back on track.

By the next day Negan’s already beginning to regret how free he’d been with those kisses; and by Wednesday he’s forced to call out sick, thanks in part to the fact he can’t leave his bathroom for more than a few minutes.

He hates being sick – always has. He doesn’t get sick very often, so when he does, it hits him like a ton of fucking bricks. He hates throwing up, and he hates the shivering, sweaty cold feeling of fevers, and he hates how fucking weak it makes him. It also, unfortunately, gives him way too much time to think.

He falls asleep leaning against his bathtub about 4 AM, only waking to his phone buzzing about 6:30. For a moment he fumbles with it, straining to clear his mind long enough to look at it. He squints at the lit-up screen, shifting and wincing at the ache of his muscles.

Rick. Right.

_Hey. You up yet? You didn’t sleep in again did you?_

Negan debates just going back to sleep for a moment. Rick will wait, he knows, and right now he’s sort of on the verge of just wanting to die. Still, he opens the texts and taps out a reply – just out of basic courtesy. He can only hope it’s coherent.

_hey, sugar. i called in sick today, seems i caught a mysterious bug somewhere. weird, right? anyway, i’m sleepin in today. i’m not gonna make it to coffee later. sorry :[_

As soon as he hits send he lets his forehead drop to the edge of the toilet bowl. He feels his phone buzz again but he’s already slipping in and out of consciousness; even though his position isn’t the most comfortable in the world, he’s bone tired, and the seat of the toilet is thankfully cool on his skin. Maybe he should drag a fan into the bathroom. Fuck, maybe he should just take his toilet out into his room.

By the time he comes around again (still reeling from an odd dream involving baseball and pickles) he thinks the fever might have lessened a little, although he’s still a little dizzy. He leans back against the wall and picks up his phone. It’s still only about 10 AM; he groans, closing his eyes for a moment. He gets the feeling it’s going to be a long day. After a moment he remembers he’d gotten another text, probably from Rick, not that he has the energy to feel overly bad about it.

_Huh. I wonder where you picked that up from? ;) I can come by after work, if you want to drop your address. I still have some of the Dayquil you bought if you want it._

Fuck yeah. Negan knew there was a reason he liked Rick.

Negan types back a _yes please_ with his address, then puts his phone down and leans his head against the door of his shower. He’s got a raging headache that’s making him nauseous; he lets his eyes close to block out the harsh light of his bedroom streaming into the bathroom and accidentally falls asleep that way.

It seems the only stroke of luck he’s getting today is the fact that when Rick’s arrival wakes him up, he feels slightly better. At least enough to stagger to his feet and shuffle downstairs. He doesn’t bother to put a shirt on – they’d gotten off together, Negan doesn’t see much a point in shame now, and even if the neighbors see he’s not bothered. He’s in good shape, it doesn’t matter.

“ _Wow_ ,” Rick says, when he opens the door. “Uh. No offense.”

“I know,” He responds, with a raspy sort of laugh that’s more of a cough. “I look like an ass’s ass, huh?”

“That’s.. generous.” Rick grins sheepishly and holds up the grocery bag. “I assume you want this?”

“God, yes.” Negan pulls the bag from Rick’s hands and rummages through it. He retrieves the Dayquil and tosses the rest on his couch nearby, then rips the pills open and dumps them into the palm of his hand. He thanks holy fuck he’s gotten adept at taking pills as he takes them dry – although one at a time. He'd tried taking two Dayquil at once before and had thought he was going to die, and God forbid Rick get the meds here only for him to choke and die on them. Rick’s eyebrows pull together in confusion.

“You, uh. Don’t need anything to drink with that..?”

Negan laughs, running a hand through his ruffled hair. “Nah. When you’re teachin’ high school kids to play volleyball, you learn to take pills dry pretty fast.”

“Oh,” Rick says, sounding mildly taken aback. He clears his throat, and the tips of his ears go pink, and Negan knows at once where his thoughts have gone. God damn. He must seriously be lacking. Negan cracks a tired grin, leaning on the doorframe.

“Should be back on my feet in a day or two. Get hopped up on these pills, all is well. You could, ah.. come back around then. Maybe go on another date, if you’re interested.”

The flush spreads across Rick’s cheeks, and he frowns at Negan. “How is it, even sick, you manage to push all my buttons?”

“Just a talent, I s’pose,” Negan drawls lightly, and then has to break off to bury his coughs in his elbow. It _sucks_ , because it makes his chest ache and his throat burn and not for the first time he wishes he could just get swallowed up for the next week. Rick softens a little.

“You know, if you’ve got it, you could probably stand to take a little honey. It’ll help soothe the sore throat I’m sure you have.”

Negan chuckles dryly, pushing a few strands of dark hair back into place. “I’ll have to try that. Just hope I can keep it down.” He lets out a tired breath, shaking his head. “I should probably try and sleep, for now, I guess.”

Rick offers him a pretty little smile, leaning up to quickly kiss his cheek. “It works its way through really fast,” Rick says as he rocks back, head tilting a little. “You’ll feel better before you know it.”

“I hope so,” Negan grumbles, although, as with every time Rick does something intimate, his cheeks are warm, and not just with the fever. “I hate bein’ sick. It sucks like a rat’s ass.”

Rick laughs softly, blue eyes light with affection. “It sure does. Alright, Negan. I’ll see you in a day or two, won’t I?”

“You’re goddamned right you will,” Negan agrees, giving the tiniest of tired smiles. “You’ll see me real soon, I promise.”

Rick nods, then turns and heads back to his car. Negan lets the door click shut behind him and sighs, rubbing at his eyes. God damn. He can read everybody like a book except Rick – Rick fucking Grimes confuses him, completely messes up his senses. After a moment he turns away from the door and snatches up the bag of medicine, headed to his bedroom for some much-deserved rest. Still; even though the Dayquil is starting to set in, Rick occupies his every thought, and it takes him a very long time to fall asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

It takes Negan much longer than he would prefer to get better. A day, maybe two, he had expected – that seemed right. But it’s fucking _Tuesday_ before he can stay on his feet long enough to pop down to the coffee shop. Still; it’s worth it, with the way Rick lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree at the sight of him.

“Feeling better?” Rick chirps brightly, already beginning to pour his coffee when he approaches, and he chuckles.

“A little,” He says mildly. “Work’s been hard, ‘cause I still get tired if I’m up for two long, but I’m getting better. Especially now that I’m here,” He adds, unable to resist. Rick flushes pink but grins at him nonetheless, giving his shoulder a gentle shove.

“Alright, you, that’s enough. Save it for private. I’ll come sit with you after close, okay?”

“Mm, I’m countin’ on it.” Negan flashes a smile and heads to his usual table. He wonders, as he sips idly from his drink, if Rick would object to being sat on one of the tables and blown. Probably. That does seem.. unsanitary, he supposes. Maybe, then, he could weasel his way back to Rick’s house? He knows Rick needs to get off – if just one handjob had made him needy..

He spends an hour or two on the school laptop he’d finally risked taking out in public, putting in grades and setting up assignments, when he’s distracted by the pretty blonde he’d noticed in the coffee shop before. She sits herself down in front of him with a smile, and he wonders where her boyfriend is. He’s never seen the two of them apart before – and truth be told, it’s.. a little unnerving.

“You’re Negan, right?” She says, with a drawl as thick as syrup. He frowns a little.

“Sure. Who’s asking?”

“My name’s Beth. Beth Greene.” She holds out her hand, and after a moment of wariness Negan shakes it. “You teach down at the high school, right?”

“Uh.. yeah. Have we met?” He asks, racking his memories for any time he might have seen her around; she’s definitely not in his age range, but he thinks he would at least have remembered her. She cracks another little grin.

“Nah. I know all that because Rick won’t shut the hell up about you, at all, ever. I actually work down at the elementary school downtown. But – I’m getting transferred to the high school, and I’ve been trying to get acquainted with some of the folks there.”

“Oh.” Fuck, hearing that Rick talks about him is as astonishing now as it was the first time, and he knows he’s blushing. “Whaddya teach?”

“Chorus.” Beth pauses to drink from her coffee and wrinkles her nose a little. “Yeugh. That’s the last time I ask Rick to spike it. Anyway, I decided teachin’ teenagers might be a little more.. oh, I don’t wanna say worthwhile, I love the little kids, but..”

“Teenagers are closer to going somewhere,” Negan supplies helpfully, and she smiles wryly at him.

“Yeah. That.” She laughs a little, shaking her head. “Makes me sound awful, doesn’t it?”

“Nah, I get it.” Negan grins back, easing into her company. If she were a little older – but then his thoughts return to Rick, and he knows he wouldn’t trade the man for the world. “Hell, that’s why I coach the high school baseball team. But I gotta warn you, high schoolers are damn heathens. They get real fuckin’ uppity.”

“So I’ve been warned.” She inclines her head a little, smile fading. “Listen, Negan. I should probably be headin’ off soon, Rick’s been pacin’ behind the counter for the past ten minutes waitin’ for me to leave, but.. Rick’s practically my brother, so I gotta ask. What exactly do you want with him?”

Negan forces himself not to get upset. Indeed, she and Rick had seemed very close; and from what Negan can tell, it was her who had encouraged Rick to explore their relationship before it was a relationship. He knows, full well, she’s probably just looking out for Rick. It doesn’t stop the sting, though.

“I want..” He says, instead of the _excuse me_ he wants to say, and he pauses for a moment to watch Rick. The barista _is_ puttering around behind the counter, but he catches Negan’s gaze and grins shyly, gaze dropping. “I want him to be happy,” He says finally. “I want him to be happy with me and know he’s loved. I want to-” He stops his train of thought abruptly, leaning back in the seat. “I want to be with him,” He finishes lamely. It’s better than where he’d almost gone, though. _God damn it._ He chides himself – he’s only known Rick for a month and a half, _maybe_ , there’s no reason to go beyond dating yet. He knows it’s because he’s older and he knows damn well what he wants, but..

Beth just nods, though. He wonders if she knows. Instead she says a sweet little “goodbye” that he returns somewhat clumsily, still tongue-tied and caught up in his own embarrassment. As soon as she’s out the door Rick approaches, still with that shy little grin, although his blue eyes are bright and cheery. God, just the sight of his smile is enough to relax Negan.

“So what did she threaten you with?” Rick remarks, sliding into the booth next to Negan. “Castration, maybe?”

“She didn’t.. threaten me.” Negan clears his throat and turns so he’s facing Rick more. “Just.. wanted to know what I want from you.”

“That’s a first.” Rick frowns a little, inclining his head, but after a moment it fades back to a pretty little smile. “She’s usually pretty vocal about, um.. defending my honor, or whatever. It’s like I’m four instead of 40.”

“To be fair, she teaches elementary kids.” Negan takes an idle sip from his coffee. It’s mostly gone, and what’s left is cool, bordering on cold. Still delicious.

“Yeah, fifth graders.” Rick laughs, shaking his head. “Oh, hey, by the way. Can I have a taste of your coffee? I’m not actually that big on coffee, but..”

“You work in a _coffee shop_ ,” Negan says incredulously, pretending he’s not watching the bob of Rick’s throat as Rick takes a sip of the coffee, “And you don’t actually like coffee?”

“I never said I didn’t _like_ coffee.” Rick huffs defensively, setting the now-empty cup on the table. “I just said I’m not that big on it. Guess I get too much of it daily to want it.”

“Maybe I should be depriving you of me, then, huh?” Negan teases, before he can help it, and Rick makes the most pitiful sound he’s ever heard.

“God, no, please,” Rick says, a little too fast, blue eyes wide. Then it seems to dawn on him exactly what he’s said, and he turns pink from the roots of his curls to down under his shirt. Negan chuckles softly, catching his jaw between a forefinger and thumb.

“I’m fuckin’ with you, sugar. I’m not goin’ anywhere. Promise.”

Rick nods. He’s not sure _why_ the statement had made him panic so bad – he’d known good and well Negan was joking – but he knows he _needs_ Negan, in the way he needs air. Negan softens a little, adjusting his grip so he’s cupping Rick’s face, thumb running over Rick’s cheekbone.

“Hey,” He murmurs, keeping his tone gentle. “I mean that, Rick. You’re stuck with me.”

“I’m real glad I met you,” Rick sighs, nodding vaguely again, closing his eyes and leaning into Negan’s warm touch. “I, uh.. just.. you.. you changed my life.”

There’s something in Rick’s voice, not quite emotion - something indecipherable. Like he'd said something else from what he'd thought. Negan tilts his head a little, trying to work out what it was, but Rick’s face is carefully blank, and nothing comes to mind right away.

“In a good way, I hope?” He says instead, trying to keep the mood light. Rick huffs a soft sort of laugh.

“Yeah, in a good way.” Rick’s blue eyes flicker back open, scanning hungrily over Negan’s face. “I mean, I just.. I forgot what it’s like to.. to care about somebody like this, and to have someone else care about me like this, you know? I mean.. I’ve got my friends and my family but I didn’t..” Rick lets out a breath, smiling a little, just with a tinge of embarrassment. “Does that make sense?”

Negan chuckles, leaning forward to catch Rick’s lips. “Yeah,” He laughs softly into the kiss. “That makes sense. I know what you mean.”

Rick hums, reaching up to toy with the soft curls of hair at the nape of Negan’s neck. Negan resists the urge to push Rick back on the seat – _slow_ , he reminds himself. _Let Rick take this at his own pace._

“Negan,” Rick sighs a little, pressing closer, and Negan rests a hand on the small of Rick’s back to keep him steady. Rick’s lips are _so_ fucking soft, and he kisses so goddamn tentatively – slow, cautious, as if he’s afraid Negan will suddenly push him away. Even when Negan coaxes his mouth open, he’s almost hesitant to run their tongues together, although the way he clutches at Negan’s coat gives Negan the impression he’s more shy than unwilling.

“Alright, alright,” Negan says, pulling back when Rick shifts, all but squirming into his lap. He doesn’t miss the way Rick leans after him a little, pouting up at him, but they need to stop or he’s definitely not going to be able to control himself. “You need to close up. Besides, wasn’t it _you_ who got onto _me_ about tongue-fuckin’ you in public?”

“Yeah, well.” Rick’s cheeks flare with pink. He withdraws himself from the booth and casts a glance at Negan, who’s making it no secret that he’s watching Rick’s swaying hips. He offers Negan a little grin that Negan would dare say is bordering on sultry and turns away.

 _Christ_. Negan knows they need to do things right – make sure Rick’s first time is half-way decent – but the urge to bend Rick over one of these tables and fuck his brains out is so goddamn strong he thinks he's going to explode. He squirms in his seat, keeps his hands wound together tight enough to burn. He’d swear Rick is _teasing_ him.

It takes about twenty minutes for Rick to wipe everything down, at which point Negan gets up, swinging his bag over his shoulder, and heads over. Rick smiles up at him, and not for the first time Negan reflects on how _pretty_ he is. He’s like sunshine – his smile lightens up the entire room, and is adept at taking all of the stress off Negan’s shoulders.

Negan wraps his free arm around Rick’s waist, and Rick leans into him. He likes keeping his hands on Rick; it makes him feel better, to know Rick is his. And Rick has never complained, either, so he can only assume it’s alright.

“So, uh,” He says, pretending he’s not watching Rick’s back as Rick locks the door to the shop, “Now that we’re both back in good health, maybe you’d wanna go on a date? Like a movie, or somethin’?” Rick gives him a good-natured little frown, but before he can speak Negan adds on, “I’ll keep my hands to myself, I swear.”

“I don’t suppose it would hurt anything,” Rick muses, tipping his head to the side a little in thought. “Maybe tomorrow we can see what’s on and pick one. But you gotta promise you won’t do anything in the theatre.”

“Sure.” Negan holds his hands up innocently. “You have my word. This time.”

Rick grins and gives Negan’s shoulder a playful little shove, then reaches up for a quick kiss. Negan hums contentedly, combing a hand through his dark curls, and he leans a little into the contact.

“I should be going,” Rick says, when he pulls away. “Carl’s gonna start thinking I forgot him, soon.”

Negan laughs, runs his fingers through Rick’s dark curls one more time and – just for good measure – leaves a warm handprint on the right side of Rick’s ass as Rick walks away. It’s almost comical, the way Rick jumps and turns on him with a sharp-sounding yelp, eyes wide with disbelief, and Negan grins, unable to help himself.

“Negan!” Rick scolds, but then he’s laughing, the tips of his ears tinged pink. “God. Manners.”

“You’ve been wavin’ it at me all day, Rick, you can’t expect me to just let you walk away!” Negan hasn’t felt this damn light in years, as if they were teenagers again and he’d just scored for the first time. There’s a certain innocence to Rick’s laugh, bubbly and just so damn _happy_ , and it’s infectious to the core.

“Yeah, maybe, but you could’ve at least done it inside!”

Negan grins again, more wolf-like this time. “Oh, _sugar_. I think we both know if I’d done it in there, we’d still _be_ in there right now.”

Rick flushes, glancing down at the parking lot pavement beneath his feet for a moment, then back up at Negan. “Maybe,” He agrees, voice soft now. “Too bad I locked the door, huh?”

“Too bad, indeed.” Negan shoves his hands in his pockets, resisting the urge to get Rick in his car right here and now. “Guess now I’ll have to come over after the movie, so we can see what’ll really happen if I try it indoors, eh?”

“Guess you will.” Rick stretches up for one last quick kiss, and then he’s gone, already half-way to his car, and Negan’s all but dazed, watching Rick walk away. He blinks a few times, shifting his stance and fishing his keys out of his pocket. He swallows hard – dear God, he’s going to need some alone time tonight – and manages to stagger over to his car, burdened by the boner Rick’s just managed to give him in five seconds. Christ, it aches, and he only gets a minor sort of relief when he sits down in the driver’s seat.

He has to remind himself, a couple of times, that he’s in public, he can’t jack off just yet, he needs to get home first. His left foot is tapping of its own accord, and when he reaches to put the key in the ignition he realizes his hands are shaking. He pauses for a moment, tilts his head back against the seat and wrings his hands in an effort to calm himself, but he can only think about Rick, and Rick’s ass, and Rick’s mouth.

“God damn it, Rick,” He groans out loud to himself, digging his nails into the palms of his hands so hard it hurts. “What are you doing to me?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huhfhfuhfufh i promise this isnt gonna just be all smut

By some miracle, Negan manages to convince Rick to go catch a midnight release of a horror movie on Friday night. He doesn’t want to be narcissistic or anything, but he thinks it might have something to with the fact that he swears up and down Rick can climb him like a damn tree in the back of the theater if needed. That, and Rick seems desperate to spend as much time with Negan as possible – desperate enough to brave a horror movie for it.

Still, Negan can only guess how distressed horror movies must make the poor guy, because before they even buy tickets Rick’s shaking. Before they approach concession Negan pulls Rick off to the side with a little frown.

“Sugar, you know we don’t have to watch this one, right?” He says, being careful to keep his voice gentle, because he knows all too well that Rick’s hard-headed and stubborn, and any implication that he _can’t_ only makes him more determined to do it. Rick takes a deep breath and nods, jaw set.

“I got it.”

Negan frowns for a moment longer, then nods back, a little reluctantly. Rick seems to have been trying to convince himself more than Negan, though, because by the time they find seats he’s got a death grip on Negan’s hand. Negan says nothing about it, despite the fact that he’s got no circulation to his fingers. And in any case, the look in Rick’s eyes is nothing if not determined. When they choose seats - higher up, where there's less people - Rick perches stiffly on the edge of the seat and lets out a nervous breath. Negan glances over.

“Sugar, you don’t have to be afraid. Fuckin’ get on over here if you need me, okay?”

Rick nods curtly but says nothing. He sinks a little further into the seat, leaning closer to Negan. _Christ_ , he’s shaking so bad. Negan just hopes the movie won’t scare him as bad as he’s expecting.

When the lights dim, Rick’s grip tightens exponentially on Negan’s hand, and the breath he lets out borders on a whimper. Negan carefully exchanges hands so he can wrap the newly freed one around Rick to thumb soothingly over the slighter man’s shoulder.

“I’m here, okay?” He murmurs, leaning to press a kiss to Rick’s temple. “It won’t be as bad as you’re thinking, I promise.”

“I know,” Rick replies tersely, taking a shaky breath. “I know, I got it.”

Negan hums softly. He’d liked the idea of a horror movie – having Rick curl into him, letting him be all comforting and shit – but he hadn’t intended for Rick to be so freaked out before the movie even begun. If he’d known it would be that distressing he would have picked some stupid comedy or something.

Still, Rick handles it better than he’d expected. Once the movie starts Rick settles more comfortably into the chair, and while he keeps himself pressed as close to Negan as humanly possible – and every now and then he jerks, some fight or flight reaction to flee – he at least appears to be relatively interested in the movie.

Still, he complains his ass off once they’re out of the theater. It’s all joking, of course – he’s not actually upset – but he’s a loud-mouth, sometimes enough to give Negan a run for his money, and Negan thinks he might be trying to guilt-trip a kiss. It works, of course. Negan can feel him grinning.

“I don’t want to go home,” Rick announces, as they pull out of the parking lot. Negan flashes him an amused glance.

“No?”

“No. Take me somewhere.”

“Like where?” Negan tries not to let his imagination get wildly out of hand with that; Rick probably would prefer something like a park, or-

“You know Lovers’ Peak?” Rick says instead, flashing him a mischievous glance. “Why don’t we go up there?”

“Like teenagers?” Negan quips, trying to pretend his jeans don’t tighten at Rick’s words. “What, you gonna ride me in the backseat?”

“No.” Rick scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Christ, I can only imagine how sore we would be after. No, it’d probably be better for you to lay me out on the hood, huh?”

Negan swallows hard, and his grip tightens involuntarily on the steering wheel. Rick’s in one of those moods – most of the time he likes to keep things tame, but tonight, apparently, he’s a little more frisky. Not that Negan’s complaining. The thought of Rick spread out on the hood of his car, half-naked and panting and moaning as Negan fucks into him, is enough to make Negan shift uncomfortably in a half-assed attempt to fight off a boner.

“Really, though,” Rick says, reaching to Negan’s hand to twine their fingers, “I think we’ve earned a little bit of teenage fun.”

“What’s gotten into you tonight?” Negan laughs, giving his head a shake. “I thought you were the more adult of the two of us.”

“Only sometimes.” Rick flashes a shiny grin his way, and he swallows hard. Oh, man, he’s so whipped by this guy.

When they reach the top, Negan pulls off to the side of the road and throws the car in park. Rick hops out of the car almost before he stops, looking thrilled, and rounds the front of the car. Negan follows him, slower; he’s already leaning on the car, staring out over the city, blue eyes bright.

“It’s always so pretty,” He says warmly, glancing at Negan. Negan smiles back. Somehow Rick's smile always makes everything better.

“You been up here before?”

“Only a handful of times. When I was a teenager.” Rick chuckles, running a hand through his curls, and suddenly his cheeks flush pink. “Can’t ever say I, uh.. paid a whole lot of attention to the sights, though..”

Negan grins. “Oh?” He inquires, deceptively calm, and he slips closer to Rick’s side. “Payin’ attention to, uh.. other _sights_ , huh?”

“Mm, somethin' like that.” Rick glances up, and there’s a sly look in his gaze this time. Negan lets one hand drift to Rick’s ass; he hears Rick’s breath hitch a little, and Rick turns to face him.

“Guess we didn’t exactly come up here to sight-see, either, did we?” Negan murmurs, glancing down at Rick – Rick’s not _that_ much shorter, just a few inches – just short enough for Negan to have to look down to meet his gaze. Short enough.

“Somehow, I don’t think so.” Rick loops both arms around Negan’s shoulders, leaning up a little closer, until Negan can feel Rick’s warm breath on his lips. Negan swallows a little, unable to keep his gaze from Rick’s mouth.

“Rick,” He mutters, barely managing to look up to Rick’s eyes, but Rick cuts him off.

“Kiss me, Negan.”

Whelp. Negan doesn’t need to be told twice. He twines both hands into Rick’s curls and crushes their lips together, pulls Rick up against him. Rick lets out a pitiful little sound and melts into him.

“Christ, Rick.” Negan groans, fingers kneading Rick’s ass. Rick’s fucking soft, like the pillows Negan favors so much. Rick moans into the kiss, clawing at Negan’s shirt, and after a few moments of enjoying Rick’s plush lips Negan takes their original idea and lifts Rick under the thighs to set him on the hood of the car.

He slides his hands up under Rick’s shirt, runs his fingers along the smooth skin of Rick’s stomach. Rick’s shaking, clutching at the hairs at the nape of his neck. Slowly Negan works his way down Rick’s throat, licking and kissing and sucking on the pale skin, and he revels in the muffled moans and whimpers Rick lets out in response. Fuck, he’s so turned on – he wonders if Rick was serious about fucking up here.

“ _Negan_ ,” Rick keens, hooking one leg around Negan’s waist. “Negan, oh, _God_.”

“You sensitive, baby?” Negan purrs, reaching down to palm Rick through the fabric of those stupidly nice black jeans. Rick whimpers.

“Yes – _ah-_ ” Rick’s hips jerk up into Negan’s touch. He’s hard as a rock, throbbing under Negan’s fingers, and when Negan gives a soft little squeeze he all but sobs. “Negan, please.”

“Please what, baby?” Negan pulls the collar of Rick’s shirt to the side and bites down lightly on Rick’s lightly scarred shoulder. “Gotta tell me what you want from me.”

“Just need you.” Rick jerks again, lips falling open in a soundless moan for a moment. “ _Negan_ , oh, Christ, please, I need you.”

“Need me how, Rick?” Negan trails his kisses back up Rick’s throat to the lightly stubbled jaw. “Talk to me, sugar. I can’t read minds.”

“Need you to fuck me,” Rick hiccups, eyelashes fluttering. “God, ‘m gonna fuckin’ explode, I can’t _take it, Negan_ -”

“Yeah?” Negan sucks in another dark hickey, sliding one hand down into the front of Rick’s jeans to rub at the throbbing heat of Rick’s dick. “Need my thick cock in you, huh, sugar? Need me to bend you over and pound into that pretty little ass so hard you won’t walk straight for a week?”

“Oh, God, _yes_ , ah-” Rick arches off the car with a pitiful cry, thrusting helplessly into Negan’s hand. “Please, please, gonna, I’m gonna-“

At the last possible moment Negan withdraws, standing up and letting Rick breathe. Rick actually chokes out a sob, blue eyes flying open at the sudden loss, and Negan throws him a breathless grin.

_"Negan!"_

“I know, sugar. But we’re not doing this out here. Let’s get home, and _then_ I can fuck you into oblivion.”

“You _asshole_.” Rick says, voice shaking. “I don’t know if I can get up.”

“You want me to carry you?” Negan teases, and Rick throws him a half-assed glare. Slowly Rick sits up and slides off the hood, then staggers to the passenger side of the car and just about falls into the seat. Negan slides into the driver’s seat. Rick’s squirming, knuckles white with his grip on the handle of the door, and his other hand is between his legs, giving him something to grind against.

“Hurry _up_ ,” Rick says, without venom, hips rocking unevenly. “Before I climb on you right here.”

“Take it easy, sugar,” Negan chuckles. “I’ll take care of you, promise. Just hang on.”

Rick makes a helpless sound, eyes slipping shut, pushing desperately into the palm of his own hand. Negan can barely stand it, with the noises he makes as he grinds between his hand and the seat. He makes all variety of whimpers and whines, gasping and panting, and all of his sounds are choked off, as if he’s trying to keep quiet. Negan’s dick aches in his jeans, and he’s half-tempted to touch himself as he drives home.

By the time he pulls into Rick’s driveway – having been speeding most of the way home – Rick’s got both hands down the front of his jeans, stroking himself needily, hips thrusting unevenly. As soon as the car turns off Rick’s switching seats, climbing into Negan’s lap and immediately claiming Negan’s mouth in a kiss. Negan groans, reaching up to curl one hand around the back of Rick’s neck. Rick pushes down into him, reaching up to shove Negan’s jacket off, and it’s then that Negan pulls back, panting. Rick’s flushed, pink lips full and kiss-swollen, pretty blue eyes dark and hooded and desperate.

“We should go inside,” Negan murmurs, voice husky. “Hope your bed’s ready, sugar.”

“I don’t want to wait,” Rick pleads, but Negan just chuckles lowly.

“I know, baby, but it’ll be worth it, I promise. Now come on.”

After a pause, Rick pouting down at him, Rick opens the car door and slides out. Negan gets out after, locking the door carefully, and follows Rick’s swinging ass. God damn, Negan's lucky.

He’s a little tempted to stop and look around Rick’s house, but the thought of quite possibly getting laid is much more alluring. He trails after Rick, admiring the outline of Rick’s shoulders, the muscles of Rick’s back. It would be so nice to hold Rick down, kiss all over Rick’s spine, listening to Rick pant and squirm under him-

As soon as he gets the door to Rick’s bedroom closed Rick’s on him again, pushing him against the door and pressing into his chest. He lets a groan slip out and both hands trail to Rick’s ass to grip the soft flesh, and the touch drags a helpless moan from Rick.

“Bed. Now,” He growls, pulling back to Rick’s disappointment. “On your back. I want to see your face when I make you come.”

Rick nods, staggering over to the mattress and quickly stripping his shirt as he goes. Negan follows a little more slowly, gaze trailing the scarring on Rick’s shoulders and back – there’s a surprising amount, for somebody so gentle. He ducks out of his own shirt and crawls on top of Rick, pushing their lips together again, and Rick reaches up one hand to grasp at his hair. He lets his hands roam down Rick’s sides idly; Rick’s skin is soft under his fingertips. Rick sighs contentedly.

Slowly Negan trails the kisses down Rick’s throat, his chest and stomach. Like Negan had imagined, Rick squirms under him, panting and making soft little breathy sounds. Upon reaching the waistband of Rick’s jeans Negan looks up, eyes dark.

“Are you okay with this, Rick?” He murmurs, fingers hooking under the band. Rick takes a breath.

“I’m okay,” Rick says back, voice shaking. “Keep going. Please.”

Negan nods. Then he pops the button on Rick’s jeans, pulls the zipper, and Rick squirms to help him tug the whole thing off. God damn, Rick’s _gorgeous_ ; Negan can’t stop saying it as he kisses along Rick’s inner thighs, tugging at the plaid boxers clinging to Rick’s hips. Rick’s trembling a little, fingers wound into his hair. Negan hums.

“You let me know if you want to stop, okay?” He says, voice soft. Rick nods. Satisfied, he pulls Rick’s underwear off, and takes a moment to admire Rick, spread out and naked under him. Anything and everything his imagination has or could have come up with doesn’t even compare to the real thing. Rick’s wiry, lithe – muscles strong just under the skin of his chest – he fits just right under Negan’s hands.

He takes his time lavishing kisses on Rick’s body, wherever he can reach, until Rick writhes and groans a _please_ that brings goosebumps to his skin. It’s only then that he lets his touch fall to Rick’s aching cock, earning a happy, high-pitched moan and a quick tug on his hair. He kisses up along the underside, tongue swiping the wet tip, hand following quickly in his wake, then back down to Rick’s balls, teasing the sensitive skin there.

Rick sounds absolutely gorgeous, panting, all soft little half-whimpers and whines, his hips lifting off the bed into Negan’s touch, and Negan wants him to make _more_ of those pretty little sounds. He’s obviously trying to hold back, trying to keep quiet, but his self-control is tentative at best and Negan just knows it won’t be hard to break him. The gasp he makes when Negan’s mouth slips around the head only proves it.

Slow. Careful. Negan forces himself to take it easy as he sucks Rick off; Rick had already been so close that he’s clearly oversensitive, and every little touch makes him squirm and twist and moan into his fist, legs hooked tight around Negan’s shoulders. Negan hums a little, glancing up to catch a glimpse of Rick’s face. His cheeks are flushed bright pink, blue eyes half-closed and glazed with pleasure, plush lips parted with stuttering little whimpers and moans, and there are dark curls clinging to his forehead and throat, damp with sweat. It’s a nice picture, actually, one that Negan is determined to sear into his brain forever.

“Please,” Rick begs, voice broken. He’s got one hand in Negan’s hair, controlling each movement, not that Negan minds. All Negan’s got to do is hollow his cheeks and use his tongue on the soft skin of the head of Rick’s cock – the rest is up to Rick. He hums to show he’s heard and Rick arches. “Please, please-” Rick gasps, throwing his head back into the sheets, “Please, Negan, I’m gonna come, I can’t hold-”

He doesn’t get to finish before he’s spilling against Negan’s tongue. Negan makes a pleased sound and swallows, a motion that drags a pitiful, pleased moan out of Rick, who throws one arm over his eyes. Slowly Negan sits back, tongue swiping over his lips, and grins down at Rick.

“You okay, sugar?” Negan murmurs, kissing up Rick’s bare chest until he can press one to Rick’s kiss-swollen lips. Rick moans vaguely.

“Uh-huh.”

Negan chuckles softly, hands stroking down Rick’s sides. Rick shifts under his touch. After a moment Negan pulls away, gazing affectionately down at Rick.

“God, you’re so gorgeous,” He murmurs, running his fingers down Rick’s cheek. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Don’t say that.” Rick’s eyes flutter open again, dark and hazy. “Everybody deserves someone.”

“Even assholes?” Negan says softly. “Liars, and cheaters?”

“Even them.” Rick smiles soft at him, reaching up to cup his face. “Even you, Negan. Now hush, and fuck me.”

“You sure you can take that?” Negan teases gently, leaning to kiss Rick’s temple, and Rick laughs softly, head turning to catch it with his mouth.

“Yeah, I can. Just..” Rick hesitates, then, smile fading, and Negan pulls back with a confused frown.

“Just what?”

“Just.. go easy on me. Please.” Rick takes a soft breath, peering shyly up at Negan. “You know I’ve never.. just.. I’m scared.”

“Oh, sugar.” Negan reaches up, carding a hand through Rick’s curls, and Rick’s eyes close again. “I won’t hurt you, baby, I promise. You’re in control, okay?”

Rick nods. Negan watches him for just a moment longer before nudging him to lay properly in bed, head on the pillows, curled in the curve of Negan’s body. He’s trembles a little, especially when Negan’s hand slides between his legs again, and Negan nuzzles the back of his neck.

“Negan,” Rick sighs breathlessly, hips shifting a little. “Gonna fuckin’.. give me a heart attack.”

“You’re not that old, Rick, relax.” Negan chuckles softly. “Now’s the time I gotta ask. You got lube somewhere around here, sugar?”

“Uh.. in the bedside drawer. Behind you, top one.”

Negan rolls over and fetches the bottle out of the drawer. He considers, for a moment, flicking on the lamp, but the dim light of the streetlamp through the window makes for better ambiance, he thinks. He turns back over, wraps himself around Rick again, and carefully slicks two fingers.

“You ready?” Negan murmurs, letting his hand stray back between Rick’s thighs, and Rick nods. Slowly, carefully, Negan eases his index finger into Rick’s body, down to the first knuckle. The breach earns a sharp little gasp, a white-knuckled grip on his other wrist; he presses soft kisses to Rick’s neck, Rick’s shoulders, until Rick relaxes.

“ _Christ_.” Rick says through gritted teeth, head tilting back against Negan’s shoulder, as Negan pushes the digit in further. “G-God, that’s weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird?” Negan prompts. He thinks it’s best if he at the very least can distract Rick from the discomfort with conversation; Rick squirms a little, then relaxes again.

“I don’t.. I don’t know yet.”

Rick’s hips jerk as Negan eases the rest of his finger in, making a soft little _ah_ sound that goes directly to his dick. Rick’s pawing at his opposite wrist, the one tucked firmly around Rick’s pretty throat to keep Rick pulled close, and he kisses behind Rick’s ear.

“ _Negan_ ,” Rick breathes, teeth clasping his lower lip. “You can – you can keep going.”

Negan doesn’t go as slow with the second digit. Rick seems a little more receptive to the quicker pace; at the very least, his legs part a little wider, and he makes such gorgeous sounds as it slides in, pushes back minutely against the intrusion.

“Oh, Rick,” Negan hums against the back of Rick’s neck, giving both fingers a little crook that forces a pitiful whimper from Rick’s mouth, “you’re so fucking good for me, sugar. So well behaved. You okay?”

Rick nods. His pretty blue eyes are closed and his lips are parted, panting softly, and his dark curls cling to his skin, each strand sweat-dampened and loose, and _God_ , he looks so gorgeous. Negan thumbs over the curve of his throat and carefully begins to work both fingers in and out. He rocks a little and whines Negan’s name again, hooking his leg over top of Negan’s to give Negan more access.

“So good,” Negan coos softly, scissoring his fingers and spreading Rick open. “So fucking good for me, Rick, you’re taking it so well. You tell me when you’re ready to move on, okay?”

Rick mumbles something into the pillow but it’s just about incoherent, and he jerks in Negan’s grip when the pads of Negan’s fingers brush his prostate. Negan’s hips roll forward, cock brushing Rick’s lower back, and Rick pushes into it and bares his throat. Negan can feel him shaking; he clutches vaguely at the pillows and the sheets and Negan’s hand on his throat, looking for anything to hold on to. Negan keeps up the stream of sweet nothings against his ear until Rick arches to thrust against Negan’s arm, the skin of his newly hard dick soft on Negan’s wrist.

“Negan,” Rick moans helplessly, pushing down onto Negan’s fingers. “Please, _oh_. I need you, please.”

“How, sugar?” Negan murmurs. “Talk to me. I’m here, baby, just tell me what you need.”

“Fuck me.” Rick stiffens at another quick pass over his sweet spot, lips parting in a stuttered little cry, and it takes him a minute to get the rest of his sentence out. “Fuck me, Negan, please.”

“Okay, honey. I got you.” Slowly Negan withdraws his fingers, carefully wiping off his fingers on the t-shirt hanging on the side of the mattress – he thinks it’s his, but he can’t tell. “I’m here, you're okay.”

Rick makes a pitiful sound and arches again, exposing more of himself to Negan’s touch. Negan quickly tilts the bottle of lube onto his cock, carefully swiping it down his length. For good measure he adds some to Rick’s ass, and Rick shudders at the chill.

“Just stay still,” Negan murmurs into Rick’s shoulder, carefully holding Rick’s hip. “Just stay relaxed, okay?”

Rick nods shakily. Negan lines up with Rick’s hole; Rick’s breath hitches when he begins to push in, slow and sweet, and he thumbs up under Rick’s jaw, tilting Rick’s head up so he can catch the slighter man’s plump lips in a kiss.

“ _Negan_ ,” Rick keens, breaking from the kiss with a pop, as Negan pushes in past the head. “ _Ah_ – ‘s thick _, fuck_ -”

“I know, sugar.” Negan hums softly, presses a kiss to Rick’s temple. “I got you. Just relax, I’m here.”

Rick bites the pillow to stifle a moan, back arching against Negan’s chest. He’s trembling, panting and gasping and whimpering all sorts of obscenities into the cotton. He’s _tight_ ; Negan’s chest feels tense from the sheer pleasure of forcing him open.

When Negan finally bottoms out he groans vaguely into Rick’s shoulder, grip tight on Rick’s hip. He’s got to take it easy – he knows he does, Rick can’t take it – but he thinks he’s going to fucking lose his mind if he has to stay still for too long. Rick shakes in his arms, chest heaving, skin flushed, and right now, he’s not sure Rick’s going to be able to take it at all.

“Move,” Rick says then, voice three octaves too high and broken with need. “Move, Negan, please.”

Can’t say no to that, Negan thinks. He pulls back, trying to be careful, trying not to hurt Rick too bad. Rick keens at the movement; more pleasure than pain, hips tilting back in a desperate bid to make him go faster. He can’t deny Rick anything and they both know it, and he obliges, falling into a quick rhythm that drags sweet little guttural sounds from Rick’s throat. Fuck. He’d been getting off to this for a month and a half – but in reality, having Rick tucked against him, taking it all so nicely and still wanting, begging for more – it’s so much better than anything Negan could have thought up.

Rick pulls pitifully at Negan’s waist, trying to signal he needs more, but this time Negan’s not having it. He keeps one hand just under Rick’s jaw, the other wrapped tight around Rick’s chest to keep the slighter man still. The immobilization only makes Rick louder, all half-coherent pleads and swears and Negan’s name, and as much as Negan’s trying to make this special – make this mean something – his control is slipping, and he finds himself rolling Rick over to fuck into him from behind. The new position gives him access to further inside Rick’s body, eliciting deeper, more desperate moans from the man under him.

“ _Fuck_ , Negan,” Rick hisses, when Negan finds his prostate again and begins to pound into it. “Negan, God, come on, more, please.”

“Someone’s needy,” Negan teases softly, nosing in behind Rick’s ear. Nevertheless he obeys, letting his thrusts grow harder, deeper, and the sounds he gets in response are downright heavenly. Rick shakes under him, clutching at the sheets, face pressed into the pillows to catch each high-pitched moan that escapes. It’s gorgeous. Negan thinks he’ll never get used to it.

Rick’s mumbling incoherently into the pillows in between little cries and keens – mostly encouragement, Negan thinks. Sweat beads at the nape of his neck, clings to the curls hanging loose around his jaw, and the pink flush of his skin makes each scar on his back stand out. Negan traces some of them, earning a pleased whine. Rick’s a work of art, way too expensive for Negan to be handling like this.

“Please,” Rick manages to slur, back arching. “Please, please, I can’t. Negan.”

“Can’t what, sugar?” Negan leans down, curving over Rick’s body protectively, and peppers little kisses along Rick’s jaw. “Gotta give me more than that.”

“Can’t take it – _ah_ – I can’t, I can’t, Negan, I can’t, please, I can’t. ‘m gonna come, I can’t-”

“I’ve got you, Rick.” Negan coos softly, reaching between Rick’s legs, fingers brushing the head of Rick’s cock – he can only imagine how sensitive it must be, after the intensity of the first orgasm – Rick makes a sound that’s half-sob, half-yelp, and thrusts helplessly into his hand. Negan feels sort of like he’s being told a secret. Nobody gets to know about this but them. “I’m here,” He adds gently, nuzzling the flushed skin of Rick’s throat. “I’m here, baby, don’t be scared. I got you.”

Rick’s shoulders shake and he makes the most pitiful sound Negan’s ever heard. He sounds about as wrecked as he looks, pushing back desperately into each thrust, grip white-knuckled on the sheets on either side of the pillow. Negan can feel the throb of his insides and knows it won’t be long before he bursts.

“Come on, Rick,” Negan says encouragingly, kissing along the shell of his ear. “Come for me, sugar. Come on my cock, I know you need to, baby. Let me see you come for me.”

Rick really does sob this time, face falling to the pillows to stifle the sound he makes as he spills wetly all over Negan’s fingers. Negan’s thrusts stutter – the tightness in Rick’s body is too much, and he barely manages to pull out just in time to come onto Rick’s lower back. Rick shudders, sinking forward into the mattress. He’s trembling all over, panting heavy through parted lips, and when Negan rolls over next to him he turns over and presses in close to Negan’s side with a pitiful little hiccup.

“Easy, Rick,” Negan murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Rick’s head. “Easy. I’ve got you.”

Rick just whines tiredly, resting his head against Negan’s shoulder. Negan runs a soothing hand up and down his back, the other curling lightly through Rick’s dark hair, and after a few minutes Negan notices him dropping off.

“Am I staying the night, then?” Negan murmurs. Rick doesn’t speak, only nods. He looks precious, eyes closed, breathing starting to level off, nuzzled into the crook of Negan’s throat. Negan lets out a long breath, head falling back into the pillow. Rick’s warm against his side, a comforting weight, and he finds himself getting tired. He can feel when Rick falls asleep; one hand splayed out across his chest, the other clutching his shoulder weakly, chest rising and falling evenly.

Negan thinks – not for the first time – how lucky he is to have this. He knows good and well he doesn’t deserve it, he doesn’t deserve Rick’s sweetness, but god damn if he isn’t greedy for more. He stifles a yawn and nuzzles against Rick’s temple, banishing the rest of the thoughts in favor of sleep. He can worry about the rest later.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil bit of a filler but thats aight

Negan’s woken to a ray of sun directly to the eyes.

He groans vaguely, raising a hand to block out the light.  _Christ. Fucking sun_. It’s not until after he rolls out of bed and yanks the curtains closed that he remembers the only window in his room faces to the north, and, confused, he turns to face the room with a frown.

Oh. Right. That.

Rick’s still out like a goddamn light, face buried in the pillows, spread out all across the mattress. He’d be half on top of Negan still, were Negan still in bed. He shifts a little in his sleep and turns onto his back, and Negan takes the opportunity to slip back into bed. God – it’s shockingly warm where he’d been.

The dip of the mattress under Negan’s weight seems to rouse him, though, at least a little, because he turns his head and blinks his eyes open sleepily. Negan chuckles at the momentarily confused look on his face.

“Good morning,” Rick says after a moment, voice raspy with sleep. “How long’ve you been awake?”

“A minute, maybe.” Negan punctuates this sentence with a yawn, reaching up to cover it. “Did you sleep well?”

“I don’t think I’ve slept that hard in years,” Rick agrees, turning over to face Negan. “Did _you_?”

“Like the dead.”

Rick hums and lets the conversation die there, and Negan takes the opportunity to admire him in the dim light still filtering through the window. He’s a gorgeous thing, dark curls sleep-tousled and sticking up in places – blue eyes still glazed with sleepiness, half-lidded, threatening to close again. There’s a sleepy pink tinge to his cheeks, coloring over them and tinting the tips of his ears. God. Negan's fucking lucky.

Negan reaches out, pulls Rick to his chest, and Rick relaxes into his arms with a pleased sigh. Content, he presses a quick kiss to the top of Rick’s head. The skin-on-skin contact is.. it’s nice. It’s been a while since Negan’s been so intimate with somebody. Any flings he’d had had been just that – one night stands, only making it back to a bed if they were lucky, and then they’d go their separate ways. But here, right now, with Rick – he’d almost forgotten what human contact felt like until now.

It’s not until he takes in the slow, even rise and fall of Rick’s chest against his own that he realizes Rick’s dropping off again – and, for that matter, so is he. He rouses himself, running his fingers through Rick’s hair. The touch makes Rick stir, and the slighter man yawns, rolling over and peering sleepily up at him.

“Can I ask you something?” Rick says, after a few moments, and Negan hums.

“Shoot.”

“Why do you like me?”

Negan pauses for a moment, caught off guard. Rick looks serious; still on the sleepy side, but his gaze is clearer, and his brows are pulled together in concentration. “What?” Negan says, after all attempts to process the question fail. Rick hesitates.

“Just.. why do you.. stay, I guess. Why are you here, with me, when you could be..”

“Out with, like, strippers, or something?” Negan supplies, and Rick nods, looking embarrassed. “Well, for starters, have you ever looked in a mirror? I mean, goddamn, people should be askin’ you if you lost a bet or somethin’, goddamn bombshell dating somebody like me. I mean, it helps you’ve got a nice little ass,” and he punctuates it with a squeeze to Rick’s behind that makes Rick laugh, swatting his arm.

“Be serious, Negan! I know it’s hard, but _Jesus_.”

“Not the only thing that’s hard.” Negan grins, waggling his eyebrows, and Rick just shakes his head with another little laugh.

“I mean it. Aside from that, I mean, what makes you want to stay?”

“Well, now.” Negan’s grin fades into a thoughtful frown and he tilts his head, choosing his words carefully. “You’re.. you’ve got an iron will. You don’t give up, ever, you just.. keep on truckin’, no matter what you get hit with. And, I mean, you’re smart as a whip. There aren’t many people who can keep up with me, let alone that don’t get pissed off at what I say. Hell, sometimes you put me to shame. And, uh..” He pauses for another long moment, getting his thoughts together. Definitely no need to say something stupid or overly emotional - it's just a goddamn question. “You’re a good man, Rick,” He continues, real soft. “You got a heart of gold and a soul to match, you know? I mean, you.. you go out of your way to help people, and not just ‘cause you want attention but because you actually, really give a shit. You do your best out of the goodness of your heart. And I really.. I like that, Rick. I like that you’re not a greedy, selfish asshole.”

Rick’s cheeks are tinged pink and he looks shy – maybe a little embarrassed. Before he can say anything, though, Negan adds, “Probably helps that you like me, too. That’s a big part.”

He laughs, then. Negan grins – Rick’s joy is infectious – leaning in to steal a kiss, and Rick smiles into it, fingers winding into Negan’s dark hair. Negan moves to roll him over, fully intent on continuing on their fun from last night, but he pulls back and shakes his head with a little grin.

“Nuh-uh. I’m already gonna be walkin’ funny, we don’t need to add to it.”

Negan sighs, rolling his eyes dramatically, but he's still smiling. “Okay, okay. Whatever you say.” Negan can’t resist peppering kisses along Rick’s face, though, all over the lightly tanned cheekbones and temples and jawline until Rick’s giggling, squirming, trying to escape the onslaught. Finally he relents, pulling back with a grin, and Rick matches it, face a little flushed and eyes wide with exhilaration. “Guess we should shower, then, huh?” He tacks on thoughtfully, running a hand through his hair, and Rick nods.

“Yeah. I’m still kinda sticky.”

“Mm. Good.” Negan smirks a little at him, and he rolls his eyes as he slides out of bed. Negan lounges in bed for a few moments longer, admiring the curve of Rick’s bare ass when he bends to search through the dresser, Negan’s come still streaked along his lower back – now _that’s_ a sight that induces some sort of feral pleasure deep in Negan’s chest. Then, deciding he’s spent enough time in bed, Negan rolls over and gets up, making a new mission of finding his clothes – he’s grateful to see the shirt he’d cleaned his hand with hadn’t been his. Carefully he lays his clothes out across the foot of the bed, then heads and follows Rick into the bathroom.

Rick’s turned the water on already, letting the temperature adjust, and is leaning into the cabinet for some towels when Negan enters. Negan takes the opportunity and moves up smoothly behind him, leaning to kiss his neck, and he jumps at the touch, spinning in Negan’s arms. Negan grins down at him.

“Did I scare you, sugar?”

“I didn’t know you were so close,” Rick responds accusingly, pushing out his lower lip until Negan just has to kiss him, for fear of doing something more. The pouty look morphs into a smile into the kiss and he makes a pleased sort of noise as Negan lifts him onto the countertop.

“Sure you’re not feelin’ it this morning?” Negan says, only pulling back a little bit. Rick chuckles.

“Yes, I’m sure. My ass hurts.” Rick withdraws, not missing the way Negan leans after him a little, and he grins. “Maybe next time, big boy.”

Negan growls playfully, nipping at his shoulder. “Told you about those names, Rick. Gonna force my hand into doin’ somethin’.”

“Yeah?” Rick grins, cheeks flushing pink. “Like what?”

“I’ll pay for everything with spare change for a month.”

Rick gasps, pretending to be hurt. “You wouldn’t!”

“I would. Don’t test me.”

Rick sighs dramatically, then nudges Negan back to slide off the counter. “Guess I’ll behave, then,” He drawls, with over-exaggerated resignation. “We should shower. Water’s gonna get cold.”

After their shower – during which Negan just _can’t_ keep his hands to himself, and Rick doesn’t stop him, either – they get dressed and, enticed by the new smell of bacon, make their way downstairs. Rick stops about halfway down, though, so abruptly Negan nearly runs into him and knocks him the rest of the way down.

“Listen, Negan,” Rick says, voice uncertain and serious. “I know you’re on your way out, but.. Carl.. he may, uh.. not be so friendly. He’s had a.. a rough time of things since Lori died, and..” He pauses for a moment. “Just. Try not to, uh. Get upset if he.. isn't so nice.”

“I get it.” Negan runs a soothing hand down Rick’s arm. “I know. Especially since this isn’t exactly an ideal first meeting. Everything will be fine.”

Rick nods tersely, eyes dark with worry, and continues on down the stairs. Negan takes a breath before he follows. It’s not necessarily that he’s nervous – but, well, he’s fucking nervous. It’s ridiculous, to be afraid of a twelve year old, but he so desperately craves the approval of Rick’s family. He works himself into heading down the stairs after Rick, trying to keep his head on straight.

“Carl,” Rick says, heading into the living room, where Carl’s on the couch watching the morning cartoons. Carl looks up, striking blue gaze latching onto Negan’s entrance. “Uh.. this is Negan.”

Carl looks startlingly like his father; slender face curtained by wavy dark hair, ice-blue gaze thoughtful. Looking at the two of them together, there’s no questioning their relation.

Carl frowns at Negan for a long moment, eyes narrowed, brows pulled together. It’s almost as if he’s – sizing Negan up, deciding if Negan’s a threat. Negan has to admire that. After a moment he mutters a “hi” and sinks back down into the couch, and, judging by Rick’s relieved expression, that’s a good thing.

Negan heads out the door at Rick’s gesture, glancing once more at Carl as he goes. Rick carefully shuts the door behind them. Together they meander over to Negan’s car, in a comfortable silence, until Negan can lean on the driver’s door.

“You aren’t limping that bad,” He remarks, grinning a little. “I’m sure we could have gotten away with another round.”

Rick smiles sheepishly and shoves his shoulder. “Stop it, you.”

“So, hey, does this mean I can start fucking you in public?” Negan says, barking a quick laugh at the blush that colors Rick’s face. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! We’ll stick to a bedroom. For now,” He adds with a little wink, and Rick rolls his eyes.

“At least warn me before you do anything, please?”

Negan nudges him lightly. “Of course, sugar. As fun as it would be to randomly bend you over one of those tables in your little shop.. I gotta make sure you’re okay first.”

Rick’s pink flush deepens a little, and his expression goes soft. He leans into Negan’s side for a moment, fingers trailing along the back of Negan’s hand.

“Thank you,” He says after a moment. “Just.. I’m glad I have you.”

Negan presses a kiss to Rick’s temple. “Of course,” He murmurs into the graying hairline. “I’ll always be here for you, Rick. You just tell me whatever you need, okay?”

Rick nods. After a moment he leans up for a kiss, a real kiss, sweet and soft. Negan sighs softly into it, reaching up to rest one hand between Rick’s shoulderblades. When Rick pulls back he looks shy, worrying his lower lip, clearly thinking hard about his next words.

“I, uh..” Rick breaks off, glancing at the pavement for a pause, then back up at Negan. “I – I’ll see you Monday, right?”

“Course you will.” Negan inclines his head. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” Rick reaches up, runs a hand over the back of his neck. “Just.. I’ll see you.”

“Yeah. See you around.”

Negan watches Rick trudge back up to the house and notices the curtains move. He figures Carl was probably watching, judging, trying to work out the nature of their relationship – if it was a one night stand, or.. something else. There’s something nagging at the back of his mind, something trying to get his attention, but he can’t quite put his finger on what it is. He sighs, scratching at his temple as he gets into his car.

Christ. Rick’s getting to him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am the epitome of uhhhhh "walks in 10 minutes late with starbucks" only instead of 10 minutes its like..... six months  
> thanks for bein so patient with this..... im bad at multitasking lmao

“Who was that?”

Rick lets out a breath. He’d expected a hostile reaction from Carl; and he’s glad, honestly, that Carl had waited for Negan to leave.

“That was, uh.. his name is Negan,” He says, delicately settling on the couch next to Carl, who scoots over to make room. “I’ve been.. I’ve been seein’ him for a little while now.”

Carl nods slowly. He seems to think this over for a little bit, brows drawn in thought. Then he says, “So he wasn’t just a one night stand?”

“No.” Rick doesn’t even want to know where Carl had picked that up – and he can’t talk, anyway, God knows Shane had taught him worse by the time they were twelve. “We’ve been together for just over a month now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Carl’s tone is clipped and unhappy. Rick sighs softly.

“To be honest, Carl.. it’s because I wasn’t sure this all would last. Negan’s..” Rick pauses, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know if he would-” He pauses again. Carl seems to get the gist of what he’s trying to say, though, because he just nods, relaxing into the couch. Rick picks up again. “I didn’t want you to get settled, only for him to split when he got what he wanted.”

“So he’s going to stay?” Carl asks skeptically. “Like, forever?”

“As far as I can tell right now.” Rick sinks into the cushion, propping his feet up on the coffee table, and yawns. “He’ll come back around soon, you can properly meet him then. And Carl, you don’t be rude to him, okay?”

“Yeah,” Carl says reluctantly. “Okay.”

“I mean that. I really like him, Carl, I think-” He stops abruptly and scrubs a hand down his face. “I don’t know what I think right now. I just.. I think this could work.”

Carl eyes him for a moment, wavering, then sighs. “Okay. I’ll be on my best behavior, dad. Promise. I don't like it. But..”

“Thank you.” Rick softens, pulling Carl in for a side-hug and pressing a quick kiss to his temple. “I'm lucky with you, you know that?”

“Yeah, you are.” Carl smiles a little and nudges Rick’s arm. “What’s for breakfast?”

“You just had bacon!” Rick laughs, ruffling his hair. “I’m making pancakes. Come on – you can help me.”

* * *

Negan feels like he could sleep for a week.

It’s been a while since he’s had sex, and honestly, he had forgotten just how tiring it is. Not to mention, on top of that, that he’d only gotten a handful of hours of sleep in total. Not that he regrets it – but it _is_ a difficult task staying awake on the drive home. It’s Saturday, he’s free, there’s nothing going on.. he can just go home and crash in his bed.

Which is what he intends to do, were he not accosted by Simon as soon as he walks in the door.

“Thought you were just goin’ out for a movie date,” Simon says, almost accusingly.  “Then you go and spend the whole night out. What gives?”

Negan scowls a little. “Rick and I took a little personal time after the movie and I stayed the night. Ain’t a crime to get laid, is it?”

Simon huffs, relaxing back. “Guess not. Just.. Jesus, man, you scared the hell out of me.”

Negan relaxes, too. “Sorry. I shoulda called or something, I know. We were a little distracted, though, you know?” He grins a little, and Simon chuffs a laugh.

“Okay. You’re off the hook for now. You look fucking beat, though, dude. You goin’ to bed?”

“Trying to.” Negan quirks an eyebrow. “Too bad there’s some asshole blocking my path, eh?”

Simon laughs again, louder, and slugs him in the shoulder. His grin widens. Then the other man steps aside to let him by, and he thankfully heads in, eager to get to his room and fucking _sleep._

He kicks off his shoes, shrugs off his coat and shirt, and flops down on his bed. The mattress feels fantastic under his back, and he groans happily, head falling onto the soft pillow. He closes his eyes and sighs, smiling to himself.

Man, he’s happy. The last time he’d been this happy had been.. probably before Lucille passed, he thinks. He can still remember their honeymoon phase like this, when they’d fallen asleep on the phone with each other, and they’d been together as often as humanly possible. The difference is - after he and Lucille had gotten out of that phase, he'd.. well. He's not going to do that to Rick, though. Never ever.

His phone buzzes on the nightstand next to him, then. His eyes drift back open and he turns over to grab it. It’s Rick; the other man has texted, _I miss you already, baby_ , and Negan’s heart flutters a little. He taps out an _I miss you too_ , but as soon as he hits send, he calls Rick instead. Rick picks up after only two rings.

“Hey,” Rick says on the other side, a shy lilt to his voice. “Heh. I feel like a kid again - pinin' after you, can't go half an hour without feelin' lonely.”

“Me, too.” Negan chuckles, turning back onto his back. “Nothin’ wrong with that, though, sweetheart.”

Rick laughs weakly. “Maybe not. I just.. I’m not used to feelin’ like this. Missin’ you so much.. makes me feel better that it’s not just me, though,” He adds shyly, and Negan softens.

“’Course it’s not. I’ll say it a million times, baby, _I miss you_ , and I’ll still mean it by the time I’m done sayin’ it.”

Rick laughs again. Negan can hear the smile in his voice as he murmurs, “You’re sweet, Negan.”

“Sweet on you, baby,” Negan purrs. Then he yawns widely, and although he tries to hide it from Rick, Rick catches on.

“Were you tryin’ to sleep?”

“Maybe,” Negan says, purposefully vague, hoping Rick will let it go. “Don’t matter. I’d much rather be up talkin’ to you.”

“No,” Rick says. “I’ll be here when you wake up. Get some sleep.” Negan begins to protest, but Rick cuts him off. “ _No_. Sleep, baby.”

“Rick, I..” Negan swallows, throat suddenly feeling sticky. He takes a breath, unable to stop smiling. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yes, you will,” Rick says, gentler now. “Sleep well, Negan.”

“Bye,” Negan rasps. He waits until the call is good and ended before he sets his phone back on the nightstand. He’s suddenly filled with emotion that hurts in his chest – but he’s not sad, not at all. He’s.. happy.

 _Fuck_ , he's so happy. He can't wait to see Rick again.


	15. Chapter 15

Negan can’t help it: he starts seeing Rick more and more often, if that's even possible.

He finds himself drawn to the man now more than ever. He’s not sure what it is, but the memory of Rick lying in bed, face smooth with sleep, sunlight falling softly over his lightly tanned skin, has stuck with Negan in the two weeks since they’d fucked. It’s funny, Negan thinks; the sex isn’t what stands out most in his mind, but Rick, precious and sleepy the morning after. It's probably a sign of something.. but Negan isn't going to put much thought into it.

He tries to keep it reigned in. He does. It’s overkill to want to be around Rick every second of every day. But he’s always been one to get quickly attached, and, okay, maybe he’s got a bit of an abandonment phobia, so he’s had the cards stacked against him from the beginning - but still, he doesn’t want to chase Rick away. Rick is the best thing to happen to him in quite some time, and maybe this honeymoon phase will fade, but he knows he’ll never be tired of Rick. He just knows he’s a lot to handle, and he doesn’t want Rick to be tired of _him_.

Not that Rick seems to be getting tired of him. In fact, he’s noticed Rick texting him more often now, and these days Rick is _almost_ bordering on risqué over text. Negan thinks it’s kind of cute that Rick is comfortable with him. Hell – just the other day Rick had sent Negan a slightly provocative picture of himself with a popsicle that had made Negan pop a boner so intense he had to sit down for a few minutes. Negan guesses Rick is probably some kind of repressed. Rick’s been single for a while, the only action being his own hand, and now that he’s got an outlet Negan supposes all that desperate sexual need is finally spilling over. Not that he's complaining - Rick is pretty goddamn sexy.

His phone buzzing draws his attention. It’s a text from Rick; he’s on his lunch break in between classes, and they’ve been texting back and forth for about ten minutes now. Munching on his sandwich, he swipes to open the text.

 _You should come over after you get off work_ , it reads. He swallows so quickly it burns his throat. He hasn’t been back to Rick’s place since their date night, and he wonders what Rick’s intentions are. If Rick wants to watch some movies or whatever, that’s fine, but Negan isn’t going to oppose if Rick’s looking for sex again.

 _what about your kids?_ he texts back. _and the shop?_

He taps his foot impatiently, waiting for Rick’s reply. So he’s excited; sue him. Any chance he gets to spend some quality time with Rick outside of work is exciting, and that’s just the way it is.

_Carl’s going to a friend’s after school to work on a school project. Judith’s spending some time with the couple next door and their baby. And today’s my day off. ;)_

The winky face. Oh, boy, the winky face. Negan swallows hard, suddenly feeling as though his sweatpants are a little too tight at the waistband. He shifts, shoving the rest of his sandwich in his mouth hastily, and types back, _you got it, baby_. Then the bell rings to signal class change, and Negan has to quickly say goodbye and head to greet his next class.

He’s distracted, though, enough to where he simply tells his students to do anything they please without breaking rules. He can’t stop thinking about Rick and the implications of the texts. He had told himself he doesn’t want their relationship to be all sex, but goddamn..

He’s probably his students’ favorite teacher today, as he can’t think about school long enough to actually give them orders as he usually would. He does notice a handful of students that start to approach him, looking confused, only to be brought away by their friends before they can question him. He doesn’t mind. He’s consumed with _Rick_.

It’s thundering and gloomy out when the final bell rings, but Negan’s not bothered by all that. He only shoots off a quick text to Rick before he drops into his car and starts it up. He gets a return text – _see you soon baby_ – which only makes him feel like stepping on the gas. But goddamnit, he’s responsible, so he stays at speed limit the whole time. He hopes Rick would be proud at his restraint.

When he pulls into Rick’s driveway, the rain is coming down in sheets. He carefully slicks his hair back in his rearview; he’s not stalling, absolutely not, he’s just waiting for the rain to stop. Of course. But the rain doesn’t stop, and Negan doesn’t want to wait any longer, so he hops out of the car, locks it up, and hurries up to Rick’s door, rain soaking through his clothes. He knocks hard – Jesus, why did he wear a white shirt – and luckily, it only takes about thirty seconds for Rick to answer the door.

“Come in,” Rick says, stepping back, and Negan does so gratefully. Rick’s house is dry and warm, and Negan immediately shucks his shoes, socks, and coat, carefully leaving them by the door so as not to drip all over Rick’s house. “You’re soaked through,” Rick continues, frowning up at him. “I’ll get you some towels – you should-”

“Get naked?” Negan suggests, grinning slyly, and Rick flushes.

“Yeah. Do that.”

“You fucking got it, Rick.” Negan immediately pulls his shirt off over his head. It sticks to his skin, which he feels makes all this much less sexy, but Rick doesn’t seem to mind; the slighter man’s blue gaze is slowly drifting down to Negan’s chest. Negan quirks an eyebrow. “Towels?”

“Ah – right..” Rick clears his throat and slowly backs up. “You, um.. go ahead and.. do that.”

Negan chuckles to himself as Rick disappears further into the house. Rick talks a big game over text, but as soon as it comes to in-person flirting, Rick gets all flustered and shy. It’s quite endearing.

Negan strips his jeans and boxers off, too, as he waits for Rick to bring him some stuff to dry off with. He’s relieved to get the wet denim off his body. Nothing more irritating than _wet denim_.

He drops his wet clothes into a pile and waits, dripping onto Rick’s hardwood floor. Whoops. Negan takes a moment to envision Rick, on his hands and knees on the floor to wipe up the water, round ass on display – maybe in a maid costume..? No, Rick probably wouldn’t wear something like that. Just shorts, then, maybe.

“Here’s the-” Rick abruptly stops in the doorway, arms full of towels and cheeks flushing pink. Negan glances at him, eyebrows quirking. “Here’s the.. the towels,” Rick says, tongue swiping subconsciously over his lips. “I can – I can throw your clothes into the dryer for a bit, if you want me to.”

“Sure.” Negan shifts his weight from one foot to the other and hums. Rick hasn’t moved towards the pile of clothes, nor towards Negan; he seems fixed in one place, staring at Negan’s face. Negan feels a smirk tugging at his lips, and can’t resist saying, “You just gonna stand there, or do I get to cover up?”

Rick looks very much like he wants Negan to stay naked, but after a moment he finally sputters into gear and heads over. He’s very obviously flustered; and really, Negan’s never been good at self-control, so why he’s surprised when Negan snakes an arm around him and draws him in sharply, Negan doesn’t know.

“I – y-your clothes,” Rick says shakily, trying to stay on task, although Negan can feel the bulge against his bare thigh, “need to be-”

Negan cuts him off with a kiss. He stiffens, just for a moment, before he drops the towels on the floor and throws his arms around Negan’s neck. He winds a hand into Negan’s hair and simply melts against Negan’s broad chest, lips obediently parting. Negan slides both hands down the back of his jeans and is met with two handfuls of bare, smooth ass.

“Commando, baby?” Negan growls against Rick’s lips, nipping gently. Rick gives a shaky chuckle.

“Feels good with jeans,” Rick mumbles in response, eyelashes fluttering. “Mm.. rubs real nice.”

“I bet it does.” Negan gives Rick’s ass a quick squeeze, then withdraws and leans down to pick up the towels. Rick looks slightly put out at their abrupt stop. “Go on and throw those in the dryer,” Negan continues, fastening a towel around his waist. “And maybe change.. you’re all wet.”

Rick glances down. Negan’s wet skin has rubbed off on his shirt and pants, soaking into the cotton. He gives a little sigh and nods, then bends down to pick up the pile of soaked clothes. As he heads back into the house, Negan wanders into the living room, carefully drying off with the towels Rick had brought him. Outside, thunder rumbles, and Negan takes a moment to thank the rain; otherwise, this situation wouldn’t be happening.

After a few moments Rick returns. Negan hopes silently that Rick will climb into his lap; but instead Rick turns on the gaming console under the television, then sits down next to him, throwing both legs across his lap. He quirks an eyebrow at Rick curiously.

“Actually, Negan,” Rick shifts, giving Negan a little smile. “I was hopin’.. you could help me with some stuff.”

“Stuff?” Negan repeats; then, “Does ‘stuff’ mean we aren’t having sex?”

“Now, I never said that.” Rick’s smile takes on something sly, and Negan feels his cock stir. “You just gotta work for it.”

“Well, shit, point me in the right direction and I’ll do anything.”

“Here.” Rick hands Negan a controller and gestures to the TV. “Carl an’ I have been playing this game for days and can’t seem to beat this level. I want to see if you can do it.”

“I can certainly give it my best effort.” Negan can’t even really be mad about it; Rick is just too cute, and besides, Rick has all but agreed to fuck afterwards. No harm done.

He starts up the game and gets into it. He can see where Rick is having a hard time; the boss is a _bitch_ to fight. Negan swears the game doesn’t give enough health for this. It also doesn’t help that as he plays, focused on the game, Rick sits up and moves to cuddle into his side. He can feel the warmth radiating from the slighter man, pressing distractingly against his arm and thigh.

“See what I mean about it bein’ hard?” Rick drawls, slinging an arm around Negan’s shoulders, after Negan has died a ridiculous amount of times. Negan swallows and nods, brows furrowed as he focuses on the game.

“Yeah, it’s pretty difficult,” He agrees blandly, frowning. “Seems like this damn thing wants you to fucking fail.”

Rick tips his head in agreement. After a moment the couch groans as he gets up; Negan is too into the game to think about what he might be doing outside of maybe finding something to eat, at least until he deftly unfastens Negan’s towel from the floor in front of Negan.

“Wh- what are you doin’?” Negan pauses the game and glances down, eyes wide. Rick is gazing back all innocent-like, but he’s grinning slyly.

“Nothin’,” Rick responds sweetly, fingers dancing up Negan’s inner thigh. “Keep playin’.”

Negan bites his lip. Rick’s hand has found his cock and is stroking slowly along the length, working him back into hardness – not that that’s a difficult task by any means. Then Rick leans in and gives the tip a gentle kiss, and Negan hisses in through his teeth, letting go of the controller with one hand to wind it into Rick’s curls.

“Baby,” He says, voice a low rumble, “don’t – don’t do anything you don’t want to..”

“I want to.” Rick smiles up at the other man. He’s much more confident now, Negan notices; it seems to be a situation of he’s more comfortable when he’s expecting it, when he’s in control. Not that Negan particularly _minds_ him being in control. “Keep playing,” Rick adds, thumbing over the vein on the underside and making Negan shudder. “Like I’m not even here.”

“Easier said than done,” Negan mumbles, but nonetheless he takes his hand from Rick’s head and unpauses the game. However, it’s even harder to concentrate now than ever before, with Rick’s hands on his stiffening cock – and especially so once Rick begins to kiss and lick along the length of it.

His hands shake on the controller, and his attempts at fighting the boss are absolutely pathetic now. All he wants to do is drop the goddamn controller and grab Rick’s hair, coax Rick to swallow his cock – which is exactly what he does when Rick’s lips close around the head of his dick. He mashes the pause button and throws the controller to the side to watch the absolute miracle that is Rick Grimes.

Rick’s mouth is wrapped warm and wet around Negan’s cock, the slighter man’s blue eyes lifted to Negan’s face. Negan can feel the heat rising in his cheeks as Rick sucks on him. He leans back against the back of the couch and watches as Rick swallows him down deeper, a low, pleased groan slipping from his throat.

“You been practicing, Rick?” Negan breathes, because there is definitely something practiced about the hollow of Rick’s cheeks. Rick hums around him, which he’s going to take as a yes, at least until Rick pulls back.

“I have,” Rick says, seeming almost shy about it. “With popsicles.”

Negan lets out a sound that’s half-laugh, half-groan. “I fucking knew there was nothin’ innocent about that picture,” He mumbles. He can feel Rick’s smile on his dick as Rick leans back in and kisses up along the underside; then Rick’s mouth envelops him again, tongue running over the slit at the tip, and he groans out, hands winding into Rick’s curls.

Rick is a vision like this, on his knees between Negan’s legs with a mouth full of cock. It does help that it’s _Negan’s_ dick, but still. He’s looking up at Negan so innocently, despite the hollow of his cheeks and the swipe of his tongue over the sensitive length. Negan’s trembling a little, panting openly, as Rick’s head bobs evenly; and dimly he thinks, _god damn Rick Grimes_.

“You’re so good,” Negan breathes, pulling gently at Rick’s hair. “So – so good, baby, suckin’ me so good..”

Rick gives a needy little moan, eyelashes fluttering. The vibrations make Negan’s back arch; it takes all of his effort not to pull Rick’s head down. Rick is so good, so _good_ , Negan adores the warm, wet heat of his mouth and the pull of his plump lips.

“Ba-baby,” Negan pants, watching as Rick swallows him deeper, his cock disappearing past Rick’s lips. “I’m gonna – gonna come, Rick, gonna fucking..”

Rick’s eyes flick up to his face again, half-lidded and with pupils blown wide. Negan’s mind is buzzing with pleasure; Rick’s rubbing him and sucking on him so fucking good, sending sparks up through all of his body. Rick seems to know exactly what he’s going through, based on the little smirk Negan can see around his dick.

“Baby,” Negan gasps, almost whimpering, and now he really does pull Rick’s head closer to him. Rick gags, throat convulsing a little, and that’s all it takes for Negan to reach his peak. The stuttered, almost pained moan he lets out is pretty goddamn shameful, if he does say so himself.

Rick, though – Rick swallows obediently, warm mouth working him over until he’s completely spent. Then Rick pulls back, tongue swiping out over his lips, and Negan almost melts all over again at the sight. Rick crawls up into his lap and nuzzles into his shoulder, sighing.

“Do you need some fucking help, Rick?” Negan mumbles, winding a hand into Rick’s curls. He feels Rick’s shy little smile against his bare skin.

“No. I, um.. I already..”

“When?” Negan’s grinning lazily too, though. He presses a tender kiss to Rick’s temple.

“While I was, uh.. you know.”

Negan barks a laugh, squeezing the back of Rick’s neck lightly. “Good lord, Rick,” He teases, nuzzling into Rick’s jaw. “You came sucking my dick? That must make you the most perfect man ever.”

Rick chuckles weakly. “Glad you think so,” He says softly against Negan’s tanned skin. “Guess I just like makin’ you feel good.”

“Well, you do a damn good job of that, Rick.” Negan hums, lightly kissing Rick’s cheek, and reaches for the abandoned game controller. “Now that that’s out of the way.. why don’t I see if I can beat this fucking game?”

* * *

As it turns out, Negan can _not_ beat this fucking game, and by the time he’s redressed in his nice warm clothes and on his way out he’s significantly more annoyed than he was before. Not that he’s not still softened by Rick’s goodbye kiss on his cheek – he is – but at the same time, he can’t help but be angry at how _unfair_ they’ve made the damn boss. Maybe, he thinks sourly, they’ll just have to look up a walkthrough or something.

He finds Simon in the kitchen, making a sandwich. At this point he’s not even bothered by his friend’s half-nakedness. He throws himself down at the table and sighs, stretching his long legs out in front of him, and Simon glances at him.

“Long day?”

“Alright, I guess.” Negan throws an arm over his eyes and yawns widely, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Got to run by Rick’s today, so ‘s not all bad.”

Simon’s eyes twinkle a little as he gazes at his friend. “I see,” He says, amused. “Actually, speaking of Rick.. me, Dwight, and Sherry are goin’ out barhopping tomorrow night. You and Rick should come with us.”

Negan considers this. He’d like a night out with Rick, for sure – nothing to do with sex, just drinks and friends and the two of them having a good time. “Sure you’re okay with bein’ surrounded by couples?” Negan says, rather than answering right away. Simon barks a laugh.

“Nobody said I’m goin’ home alone, either. I probably won’t notice after a couple bars, anyway.”

Negan tips his head for a moment. “Alright,” He agrees finally. “I’ll text Rick.”

He pulls out his phone and fires off a quick text – _hey baby. want to come out for drinks with me and my friends tomorrow night?_ – and resumes his conversation with Simon, albeit on a bit of a different track than before. After a few minutes his phone buzzes, and he turns his attention to it curiously. It’s Rick.

_Sure I will, Negan. I’d never miss a chance to see you._


End file.
